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Funny stuff archive
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Dog and Cat Party Fun
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to - la la, la la la. Okay, so I don't know the words to the song but I do know bringing a dog or cat to a party needs to be approved first by the party host. Double check the front of the party invitation, wh...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Gail Leino
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Manfred Goes to the Country
In nineteen forty five, World War II was declared officially over. Displaced German soldiers were being rounded up and homeless families had to find new places to live. Marianne, ten, and her brother Manfred, two and a half, were sent along with ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kenneth Hoffman
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Keeping Manfred Clean
Marianne was twelve and her brother, Manfred, was four growing up in 1947 Germany. Getting all dressed up for a nice dinner in a restaurant with friends, Manfred looked cute in his tan and white vertically striped short sleeved shirt and matching ...
4 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kenneth Hoffman
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To Make and Break!
"What is your New Year Resolution?"
This was perhaps the nth time I was asked this question.
Considering the progress we make every year on these resolutions, what kind of. People look at me as if I am some strange creature when I say I do not fram...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : HPriya Sivan
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Boogers
The Booger cheer: Pick it! Lick it! Roll it! Flick it!
In an effort to explain my fascination with this “boogery subject” I will recount a story to you. There was a little girl who loved to read and she found, in a book of poetry, a children’s boog...
2 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Becky Simpson
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If It Smells Like a Skunk
My wife and I were having breakfast one Sunday morning when a ruckus erupted from under the mud room step A hurried investigation ended in the garage with the most God awful stink I had ever experienced. My eyes watered and our noses burned as our...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kenneth Hoffman
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Hey Dog Whats Up?
Well, recently I have gotten in with the really hip crowd and they are so cool. The first thing that happened is they gave me a nick-name; Dog. They say “Hey Dog What’s Up?” Then that is my cue to say; “Nutten, whaaaaz up wit u?” Pretty cool isn’t...
3 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Re-incarnation is Real
Let’s face it reincarnation is a very interesting concept indeed. I was recently talking with a gentleman about how Re-incarnation is an interesting belief and he explained the Hindus belief and how everything works and what happens to us when we d...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Skidmarks - Everybody Gets Em
Face it, potty humor and bathroom jokes make us all laugh because
they poke fun at embarrassing experiences that all can appreciate.
Everybody has glanced down with dismay into their undies at one point or another, only to be confronted with "th...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Mike Rich
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Getting Rid of a Bad Hair Day
Have you ever got up and planned an important day only to find your hair will not cooperate at all? It just looks like crap? There is nothing you can do and everything you try makes it worse. So you just start all over and try it again? Still the s...
5 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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The Day The Toilet Bit Me
In my memory it was just another day, like any other in Florida during the late summer. Heat blazed from the sun soon after it suddenly popped out of the water and took command of the sky with its presence. I was four and a half years old and had e...
2 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Becky Simpson
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When Nervous Turns to Scared
All seventeen-year-olds know everything. Just ask them. I had two weeks to learn a twelve page pamphlet on the rules of driving and I actually tried to learn them. Some of the instructions I didn't really understand but I was reluctant to ask for h...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kenneth Hoffman
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Compromised Positions
There is no denying that the sports business these days is awash in bright lights ...
Quite often, though, the same can't be said for the people or practices involved.
The passage of time, the fading of origins and the constant superseding of slang...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : J Square Humboldt
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Angry Chicken Disease Peril to Chicken Soup Industry
The first suspected case of angry chicken disease in the United States was reported Tuesday and threatens to devastate the country's $98 billion chicken soup industry.
A Holstein chicken from a farm in Manhattan was found to have the disease. The U...
2 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Cy Yablonsky
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They Are Finally Revealed
In a stunning development "They" have finally been revealed. As the source of incredible amounts of information, sometimes true and sometimes not, "They" are considered the experts in almost all fields. Comments like "They say to do this," and, "Th...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Cy Yablonsky
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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (NY)
It was discovered, last Monday, that a tree has grown in Brooklyn, NY. Amazed residents stared dumbfounded at the three-year-old sapling. Two girls discovered the North American Honey Birch (Honeyus Bircheus) on the way to school.
"At first I thoug...
3 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Cy Yablonsky
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New York City is the Center of the Universe
New York, NY - It was discovered yesterday that New York is, indeed, the center of the Universe. Pooling the resources of the American Astrophysics Association, NASA, and We Are The World (NYC, that is), the four-year study analyzed the gravitation...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Cy Yablonsky
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Let Me Drive You Home From the Gas Station
People never seem to amaze me. And by that I mean that people amaze me once in a while, and the rest of the time I try to remain unimpressed -- and usually succeed. Take this evening, for example: after getting gas in my car -- and keep in mind ...
2 reviews,
rating : 5.00, 1 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Making 2006, Like, a Big Deal and Stuff
The new year is approaching us, and that means that most people are thinking about the resolution that sounds the most impressive to others and yet is also simultaneously the easiest to break. Meanwhile, I am thinking about some changes that I bel...
4 reviews,
rating : 5.00, 1 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Aliens Are Among Us
It can now be revealed.
They’re taking over the world. They’re living and working among us.
The aliens of the Tranisiuc.
This is no drill. This is the real McCoy. I’m telling the world in the hope we can do something before it’s too late.
I saw thi...
2 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Sammon
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The Alternating Traffic Merge Amendment to the Constitution
Forget the Marriage Amendment, President Bush. Forget the Torture Amendment, Senator McCain. Forget Campaign Reform Legislation, Congress. Forget overturning Roe vs. Wade, Pat Robertson. Forget all that stuff. Scrap it. We need to come together and...
4 reviews,
rating : 5.00, 1 votes. Author : Robert Crane
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Old Age Isnt For Sissies
It must have been more than 25 years ago when I first saw that bumper sticker. "Cute," I chuckled to myself, "What will they think of next?" (How about "Whirled Peas"?)
Now in my fifties, I'm learning first hand what they're talking about. From the...
2 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Anita Cross
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The Brilliant Rejection Dating Maneuver
I was talking one day with my two teenage nieces—both sensible young women who apparently have never suffered through the dating experiences I had wrestled with. I started the conversation because I was curious as to the techniques and strategies o...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Robert Crane
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Troy Burroghs: and the Doc
Surrealist-Traveler
At the Doctors Office
“What’s the difference between a crazy man who kills you and one who is not crazy (?) I would think they both are, or both are not. Isn’t killing without motive, simply against our values?” said Troy to h...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Dennis Siluk
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Eternal Wit
Whoever said, "You can't take it with you" was obviously not referring to a sense of humor ...
Here is a list of actual epitaphs from departed souls who clearly had more to say than the time to say it, or from their next of kin, who wanted to be su...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : J Square Humboldt
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