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Funny stuff archive
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Coffee Tips (and the Elimination Thereof)
I have recently become frustrated with something at doughnut establishments, and I'm not referring to the scones, although -- seriously -- just think about the writing possibilities if I were. Rather, it's the tip cup that bothers me...
To begin, ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.
Q: What is the legal definition of “Appeal”?
A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.
Q: Why did God make snakes ju...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Richard Chapo
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Bed Bugs Bite
I just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why there weren't news flashes regarding when -- and perhaps where -- people are turning on the news. Sometimes it is a slow news week, and there's not much to read in Newsweek, so maybe this cou...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Starbucks Going into Hilton
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Paris Hilton. What I am saying here is Starbucks will now be offered in some Hilton Hotels. Just think you can watch Paris the skinny blonde babe on your infomerc...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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The Hidden Driveway
I won’t lie: there are a lot of things I want in life, and some of them I’d even pay for. Rather than listing them in some aimless order so that I can feel bad about not having these things, I will instead focus on one thing that is actually attai...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times
This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to the spiritual journey that would define who I was as a person. But then I looked into my mirror and realized that the person I saw in that mirror was me. So I then figured, wh...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Valet Parking: Theft with Consent
This column is long overdue. To put it in library terms, which I guess I already did (but I’d like to elaborate), this column is like checking out a book in 1998 but not returning it until yesterday. And by yesterday, I really mean tomorrow. Thi...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Sell [Your] Phones
Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She was walking along the side of the street talking to someone, and I couldn’t help but think that maybe she was talking to someone across the street because s...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Its All About Seeing the Signs
Ace of Base hasn’t seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn’t stop the rest of us from doing so. In fact, on a regular basis, I see a lot of signs — and I don’t like most of them. With that in mind, I thought I’d take this week’s colu...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Got Originality?
There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advic...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Essential Laughter
Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It is so refreshing to just laugh at your slips, peculiarities, forgetfulness, and fumbles. Humor has the power to dull the sharp edges of life and is a great tension reliever. Laughter sti...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Saundra L. Washington
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Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M.. Power, VP
Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say.
To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Nefarious Airlines
We are sorry to learn that F...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Cathy Goodwin
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Beyond Black and White
Over visiting a neighbor the other day…
“Would you like a cup of coffee?” he asks. “I just roasted the latest batch.”
“Yes. Coffee sounds great.”
“How do you take it?” he asks as he grinds the beans.
“Black; no sugar, no milk.”
“Well, we have no mi...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Leslie Fieger
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Slip-sliding On A Peel
Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Depending on my mood or the availability, these smoothies may al...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Leslie Fieger
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Freudian Slippage
Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market to get our supply of fruits and veggies, leaving Sandra to sleep in. I have strolled up and down, stopping at various vendors to buy the things that appeal to me today and my 2 ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Leslie Fieger
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To See Or Not To See
I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. It turned out to also be a reality picture checkup.
I enter the office to be greeted by the receptionist, "Can I help you?"
"I hope so." I reply, "I'd like to ha...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Leslie Fieger
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Finding Lost Children
A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying that I don't want my car to have children, because who am I to make that choice? More so, I was sent a letter about a recall on one of the parts (the hazards,...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Humans are like Monkeys
Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities to reason. Why is this? We mimic, copy, imitate that which we see. This is a common thing that all higher primates do, including us. But if we would stop and t...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Very Precise Fortune Cookies
I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster.
"You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink polka-dot octopus..."
It continued ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : David Leonhardt
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Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age
NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grandmother was alive. I came across the link from my Web site and, after debating whether or not to change anything, decided to leave it. As Jadzia Dax said in ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kristin Johnson
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Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking
Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures
is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.
Fran is quite a “cool person,” as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Norm Goldman
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Silver Linings Are Everywhere
Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's face it; there is little that has been derided more than Viagra. On the talk shows, it has been the butt of more jokes than Michael Jackson and Saddam Hussein combined. For example:
(OK, OK. I a...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : David Leonhardt
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Internet is My True Agent
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces. Vlad Kolarov is no exception -- however, he has buil...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Dessislava Oundjian
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Cloning Advantage Super Families
As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one’s own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind’s greatest drivers...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Lactose Intolerant? It could be a good thing
Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions. Lactose intolerant individuals have huge problems with gas from the inability to process certain dairy products and foods. Therefore such an individual after eating will create g...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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