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Funny stuff archive
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ET Phone Home
Last week I felt like the mother in the commercial, where her son shows her a good report card, and she starts to cry. My son is growing up. He pulled up his grades. I wish he could do the same for his pants, but one thing at a time.
We visited ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Elodia Tate
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The Drowning Spool
It was a momentous day in the neighborhood as all the kids were buzzing about the next big thing to arrive on the block. Though nobody could pinpoint exactly how or where this new marvel had first appeared, we all knew it would be something signif...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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Junior Economics
One hot summer afternoon in August, a convenience store clerk leaned against the counter waiting for a customer to come along. Pretty soon a young boy entered the store, who looked to be around eight years old. This was the first time the clerk c...
1 reviews,
rating : 8.50, 2 votes. Author : John Dir
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Survival Instinct
One day a hiker was traveling along a mountain trail. He had planned to follow the trail for several miles before retracing his steps back to the point where he started. Several miles down the path the climb started to get steeper and more rugged...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall
My source at the Blair House told me a funny story the other day. It seems that Karl Rove stepped into the President’s bedroom and stood in front of the man-length mirror. He said, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the greatest—“
“It’s not working...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John T Jones, Ph.D.
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Do I Look Fat?
Ladies, if you find yourself asking your male companion that killer trick question "do I look fat", then let’s be honest, you are doing so for one of four reasons: you are fat, you are feeling fat, you are vain, or you are in need of attention. And...
0 reviews,
rating : 5.00, 1 votes. Author : Robert Crane
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Why Testicles?
There are certain parts of the human body I just can’t figure out.
For example, testicles, you know, the little round reproductive spheres men have.
Why testicles?
What do they do?
If you’re a woman, the best way I can describe it…it’s like having ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Sammon
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What if Bird Flu is Listening to the News Reports
What if Bird Flu was cognizant of our fears and what if it knew it must modify itself slightly along the N5H1 strain to infect humans and then changes it self slightly to grow and infect more human hosts? What if Bird Flu, the human strain was engi...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Spare Change
It was a beautiful summer day, so the man decided he would take a leisurely walk into town. As he walked along the road appreciating the scenery, he felt like there was going to be something particularly good happening for him on this morning. Su...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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View from the Stage: Six Pounds Tall!
The other day I was "putzing" around in the garage when Andrew, (my "little guy") approached. With great curiosity asked "whatcha doin' Dad?""I'm building an atomic fission accelerator little guy," I teased. "Oh, Can I watch?" (no doubt he had neve...
0 reviews,
rating : 9.77, 9 votes. Author : Gary Wesselhoff
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Singing The Blues - You Know It Dont Come Easy
I once had a slightly tipsy singer approach me at a show and ask in all seriousness how I could possibly be such an accomplished Blues singer since I have never been an alcoholic and had never taken drugs. Though my shows often turn into Mr. Kool’...
1 reviews,
rating : 10.00, 1 votes. Author : Karl Siwek
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Bat Ejection Techniques – Country Survival Course #27
People lie! They lie about the bliss of rural relocation. They lie about the size of fish they catch. They lie about being there for you. But, mostly, they lie about bats! Such a silly thing, yet no one can admit the ugly truth. “Bats only come int...
0 reviews,
rating : 5.00, 1 votes. Author : Nola Kelsey
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Learning Precision
One of my first lessons in precision occurred at the home of my best friend when we were children. We decided it might be fun to rig a zip line across his back yard, stringing some plastic coated rope between two trees about 25 feet apart.
When it ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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Who Are They Trying To Fool?
I recently saw a bank commercial on television that was staged in a coffee shop. The idea behind the advertisement were two guys in the coffee shop, with one guy standing at the purchase counter, while the other one sat at a table manning his lapto...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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BV Chronicles - Part I
Back in ancient times, oh say about 10 BV (Before Video games,) when a kid had nothing to do on a summer day, things got pretty difficult. Unlike today, when a kid can veg out for extended periods racking up points on any number of video game title...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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The Fruit Caper
Back in the days of my childhood, we lived in a richly competitive family. My parents were big advocates of teaching children responsibility at a very young age, and providing us with duties to perform on a daily basis. At the back of our yard, w...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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UFO: I Practice Levitation
A couple of weeks ago I was watching Washington play the Eagles. It was near the end of the game and I saw that Washington could win by scoring two late-game touchdowns. In fact, I knew they would win! Then last night I watched Dallas play the Eagl...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John T Jones, Ph.D.
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What Are You In For?
First off, I would like to say that our society should do a lot more than it does about making people aware of the consequences of their actions. Can you imagine being taken to prison in cuffs and leg irons, to spend the next 15 years of your life...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Dir
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How To Spot A Fib
One afternoon, Joe went outside and found Gary standing on the roof of the garage. Since that seemed like a pretty cool place for a kid to be, Joe asked Gary how he got up on the roof. Gary pointed to a tree about fifteen feet from the garage and t...
0 reviews,
rating : 6.00, 1 votes. Author : John Dir
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Smart Farmer
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the
traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so
fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a
day.
So one day Farmer John called th...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Alex P
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Interview Repartees
NOT only does our technical knowledge help, but also presence of mind and the right answer at the right time. Even if you don't know the answer for a question, just confuse the questioner.
These are questions and the answers given by candidates. Al...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Alex P
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Sit Back And Remember
Why is it, that any holiday, time off, or event, someone is sick? Do they plan it that way? I was sitting today, pondering, reminissing, and it came to my attention that every function I have ever attended had at least one of my family members sitt...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Tyler Brooker
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Driving Distractions: Do You Need Cream and Sugar?
Early one morning last week while sitting at a traffic light, I watched a man eating a bowl of cereal. He carefully lifted each spoonful to his mouth and then drove off when the light changed.
I've been known to eat while driving - wadded up hambur...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Don Doman
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Clothesline Fresh – Country Myth Breaker #17
Clothesline fresh, country fresh scent, smells like a country garden, those of us from the city have all seen our share of country clad laundry soap commercials. The token red barn glows in the distance.
Closer in, clothes adorn the line. Each piec...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Nola Kelsey
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Hoop Dream
Last night I had a dream where I was doing stand-up comedy in a gym, which in itself is pretty funny, except that my first joke completely bombed. I remember it so vividly that I keep having to remind myself it did not really happen. It went a lot ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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