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Funny stuff archive
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Walls R Us
Yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking at Rutgers University in front of around 150 high school students, which was a lot better than speaking behind them. The subject was humor columns, so it goes without saying that walruses came up multiple t...
0 reviews,
rating : 5.00, 1 votes. Author : Greg Gagliardi
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Milk Goats - Know Thy Enemy
Patience may be a virtue, but laughter is the only way to survive goat milking. You can strive for the perfect fencing. You must aim for good nutrition. But, don’t kid yourself. When it comes to milking, you do not get the last word.
When I decided...
0 reviews,
rating : 10.00, 1 votes. Author : Nola Kelsey
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If Only I Could Be An Earthworm
Maureen Dowd was on Imus the other morning plugging her new book, “Are Men Necessary”; a book I plan to buy so I can get some slightly demented insight into the mind of a troubled woman. During the interview, Imus and his sidekick Charles challenge...
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rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Robert Crane
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Not So Intelligent Design
All right … I can’t help myself. I just have to weigh in on “Intelligent Design”. It’s like looking at someone with a hump on their back. As much as I don’t want to comment, I just have to say something—it’s the Larry David in me. When the presiden...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Robert Crane
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How Not To Handle Bad Breath
We've all been there. You round the corner to your cubical ready to start the day's work when you are suddenly accosted by the familiar stench of a co-worker's bad breath.
"Here we go again...", you think. "Another 'H'-filled tirade that won't ev...
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rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kingston Amadan
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Bad Breath Love
Sure...I loved her. She was smart, attractive, polite and a total demon in the sack. Unfortunately, the perfection ended there. So what's the problem, you ask? Simple...she had a garbage mouth. No, I don't mean she cursed like a sailor, I mean...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kingston Amadan
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Double Peppermint Schnapps on the Rocks
Many years ago when I was young, attractive and a viable commodity on the dating market, I was employed as a bartender. Believe it or not, I actually went to "school" to learn this trade. I was living in Las Vegas at the time, and I decided to at...
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rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kingston Amadan
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Bad Breath Terminology
We all know someone who has bad breath. Still, you may not be current on all the slang associated with this unfortunate condition. Not to worry, my friend. I am here to provide you with more than a few descriptive phrases to use when referring t...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kingston Amadan
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New Mobile Applications Shock Market
Five stunning, new integrated mobile phone applications are set to revolutionise the way we communicate globally, while adding a whole new meaning to the word "personal" (subject to operator approval).
The applications have been devised and develop...
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rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Alex MacCaskill
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Chicken Rearing 101: Your Complete Guide to How Not to Raise Chickens
Chick: A hatchling
Capon: A castrated male used for meat. (How much could that yield?)
Pullet: A female chicken under one year old.
Hen: A female chicken over one year of age
Rooster: A male chicken over one year of age.
Raising Chickens for the fi...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Nola Kelsey
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God Grants Me an Interview
I sent a postcard to St. Peter asking for an interview with God. To my surprise I found myself standing at the Pearly Gates. I realized immediately that these were indeed the Pearly Gates because they were on a gold street and were made of gold too...
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rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John T Jones, Ph.D.
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Customer Care in 2020
Operator: Thank you for calling this pizza joint. May I have your...
Customer: Hello, can I order..
Operator: Can I have your multi-purpose card number first, sir?
Customer: It's eh..., hold.......... on......889861356102049998-45-54610.
Operator: ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Alex P
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Perks of Global Warming
Marya Mannes once wrote, “The earth we abuse and the living things we kill will, in the end, take their revenge; for in exploiting their presence we are diminishing our future.” Obviously Ms. Mannes preferred the status quo - health, sanity, logic,...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Nola Kelsey
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Men Go Extinct
You did this to me!
Me! The king of the jungle.
The ultimate muscle bound stud. Adonis! God’s gift to women.
I’m going extinct!
I hope you women out there with your equal rights are happy. You better enjoy me while you can.
The Y-chromosome, the fi...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Sammon
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Bathroom Palacial
I had to play a joke on the maid at a hotel where I was staying. You know that little paper wrapper they place over the toilet seat, that thin paper band that is supposed to convince you that the facility is clean. You normally take the paper band ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : John Sammon
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Cash, a Rude Request?
Office gift exchanges can sometimes be a painful experience.
What happens if you draw the name of that one person in your office that makes your skin crawl? Or worse, what if you make the skin crawl of the person who drew your name?
Gifts are...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Maureen Valdes Marsh
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Practical Jokes List
1. The Ball Bearing
In this practical joke, you take a small metal ball bearing and place it inside the hub cap of your victim's tire. When the victim gets in his car and begins to drive, the ballbearing will bounce around making all kinds of ra...
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rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Eric Head
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Read this Article if You Want to Hunt the Spotted Owl
There is a growing number of Americans who are sick and tired of the Sierra Club’s attack on the country and their incessant lawsuits. One of the biggest jokes out West is when people talk about the Spotted Owl. The spotted owl was on the endangere...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Halloween Howler
1. What rock star worked as a gravedigger before starting his musical career?
A. Roy Orbison
B. Billy Joel
C. Mick Jaggar
D. Rod Stewart
1. What famous rock star worked as a gravedigger before starting his musical career?
D. Rod Stewart
TBD:...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Deanna Mascle
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Birds of a Feather
1. Which is not a group term for birds?
A. Flock
B. Flight
C. Volery
D. Swarm
D. Swarm
TBD: Various insects can collectively be called a swarm but not birds!
2. Which of these is a fear of birds?
A. Alektorophobia
B. Astraphobia
C. Ornitho...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Deanna Mascle
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Fishing For Trivia
1. We all know that fish travel in schools, but do you know some other plural fishey names?
A. Clutch
B. Shoal
C. Draft
D. Wave
E. All of the above
F. None of the above
G. B and C
G. B and C
TBD: It should have been wave though, don't yo...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Deanna Mascle
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How to Surf Hurricane Storm Surges
For all the dumb people and Bozos who think it might be fun to Surf Hurricane Storm Surges, well, this article is for you. And since there is a non-ending supply of brain dead thrill seekers out there, let me explain how you do it, so at least you ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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15 Reasons Why Salesmen Are The Best Lovers
Over the centuries, salesmen have had not the best of reputations.
I've often wondered why this might be, as they are such truly wonderful persons, possessing many amazing skills and talents that quite elude the majority of the population.
Now, I h...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Silvia Hartmann
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Diet Failure is not Your Fault
How can diet failure be your fault? After all you can always find some reason to blame the other guy for just about anything; isn’t that our training? I mean look at the Donald Trump "You’re Fired" reality TV Show, simply blame it on the next guy. ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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