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Funny stuff archive
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Mexican Marijuana Crop Washed out from Hurricane Stan Flooding
Many Marijuana Pot Smokers are quite worried that the increase in prices will hurt their healthy pot smoking habit. This just after the FBI indicated they would hire people who had smoked pot. Pot smokers and marijuana lovers are concerned that the...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Finally, A Little Sexual Marketing Humor!
Want to know how to use direct-response in your personal
life, for your next romantic "Hook-Up"?
I saw this posted somewhere on a marketing board a long time
ago and I thought it'd give you a good laugh going into
your weekend.
You see a handsome ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Craig Garber
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Monty Python - Top 10 Comedy Films
1. Fruit In The Looms
2. Python's Give Live Birth
3. The Toad Elevating Moment
4. Mystery Of The Lost Python Sketches
5. Brian's The Life Of The Party
6. Kim Bread Aka John Cleese
7. Around The World In 80 Days
8. Get Yourself To Mars
9. Ke...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Chad Koch
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The Food Pyramid
Just a few calories ago, the government revised the food pyramid. You can see it at http:www.mypyramid.gov
It has a snazzy new logo with a stick figure dashing up the Steps To a Healthier You on the side of the pyramid. It’s supposed to be in ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Bob Wood
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Stun Gun Cat Food Robotic Shocker
Does you neighbors cats conveniently come to your house for an extra meal, stealing your own cat’s food? Damn those neighborhood cats anyway. It costs a lot to buy cat food and God knows you do not need to be buying food for all the neighborhood ca...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Pool Sweep Shark Robot
The new Swimming Pool Vacuum Sweep Shark Simulation Robot will do many things to help your pool. Save lives and prevent yellow water human discharges.
It also we maintain a set of highly sophisticated sensors to detect human urine. If a kid goes in...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Humanitarian Relief
There is no doubt that the effects of hurricane Katrina (I'm sure glad they're female again) will, in some way, impact everyone in the country. The storm has already destroyed billions of dollars of personal property and left thousands devastated a...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Bob Huntington
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I Do Not Like Cable T-V !!!
I really hate to complain (sigh) but when I‘m resting at the end of the day, I do NOT need Problems with my Cable T-V!
My Puppy is biting at my big toe, my wife is yelling at me because I'm not helping around the house and I'M TIRED!
My favorite fo...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Marci Bortz
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Books That Boost Your Morale
Research has shown that laughter can reduce stress hormones. And disease-fighting white blood cells go up as well. The anticipation of happy times can slash depression levels by 51% and fatigue by 15%. So here is a list of books to make you smile. ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Phyllis Wasserman
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Fake Counterfeit Bird Flu Vaccines
Well if you have been watching pretty soon we will all die of that Bird flu thing. Meanwhile some folks on the Internet are attempting to sell bogus sugar pills as Bird Flu Vaccine. Forget expecting the FBI and FTC to take care of them, they are st...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Up Chuck
We all know relatives who can't cook. Not that we are experts in culinary delicacies, but when an inedible concoction hits your plate with a thud, it takes some special manners and facial control to compliment your host.
An in-law of my wife's who...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Kenneth Hoffman
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Toilet Training: Every Womans Nightmare
When I was a teenager, we used to take our annual holidays in Italy and my mum insisted my father drive non-stop through France rather than risk another horrifying encounter with a French pissoir. I don't know if you have ever tried to hold your bl...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Elizabeth Goodchilde
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How to Satisfy Your Wife
I have just been left in such a state of complete sexual exhaustion that even Jude Law and Brad Pitt couldn't arouse my interest, never mind anything more substantial. Indeed, such is my repletion, that I fear I may never again be able to grip a Ro...
0 reviews,
rating : 1.00, 1 votes. Author : Elizabeth Goodchilde
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Ten Steps To Establishing Yourself As An Expert: Steps 5 and 6
STEP #5
An expert is useless unless he or she is credible. Credibility comes through any number of ways, none of which actually have to be based on reality. Once again, perception is King.
You know, I once was an artist. Not just any kind of art...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Drew Kittinger
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Cellphoney
With a smirk I have to admit I'm beginning to become the Old Fart that I've spent my life despising. You know who I'm talking about; the guyperson who says stuff like, "I just don't understand the things people do these days."
Well, I don't.
The o...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Russ Reina
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Politician Offices of Nano Tube Construction
Let us make all Politicians build and construct their offices out of carbon nano tube sheets, which are transparent, so we can keep a watchful eye on them.
As you know there are endless applications for carbon nano tubes due to their strength and a...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Lance Winslow
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Chocolate Prison
The latest unemployment figures are out and ...they're about the same as last time. Five point one or two percent of Americans are unemployed. That's not as good as Clinton who had two or three percent unemployment, but it's definitely better than ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Steve Sommers
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Seventy Two Raisins
It would be nice to believe that terrorism doesn't work, but, I kind of think it does. At least, it works in the respect that if somebody wants to blow themselves and lots of innocent people up, that person can do it almost anywhere they choose to....
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Steve Sommers
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Meek New World
I miss the future that we were supposed to have. In the twenty first century, among other fabulous promises, we were all going to fly around in hover cars while wearing silver jump suits with big shoulders. The last time I looked in my garage my ca...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Steve Sommers
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Potent Pachyderms
Right now there are four ads on TV that feature elephants. One is a tap dancing elephant that's advertising - I don't know what -another advertises a financial firm, another something about Africa and the last one is for cookies, oreos with peanut ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Steve Sommers
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Toilet Seat Down
In Europe there is an 'anti-sprinkle' movement, the goal of which is to encourage men to sit down when they pee, and thus avoid the sprinkle effect. Restrooms in all the countries across the continent have signs urging men to be thoughtful gentleme...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Steve Sommers
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Cow Bell Resort
Meat is murder - I understand that - but what if it weren't murder? Would it be alright to eat it, then? The reason I was thinking of this was that I almost hit a couple of wild turkeys while driving to work today and it occurred to me that if I ha...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Steve Sommers
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ToothbrushRush
Does it seem to you that you brush your teeth way too often? Do your days distort and collapse around the beginnings and endings as you face down your grimace while brushing those choppers? Mine do. Every time I brush (twice a day, religiously, ...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Bob Wood
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Fear No Weevil
Dothan, AL – You know (or maybe you don’t know) I always believe that if you want something you must proclaim it, believe it, and then go after it with all you have.
So, direct from my "how could I go through life without writing about this departm...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : David Holmes
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Ten Steps To Establishing Yourself as an Expert: Steps 3 and 4
STEP #3
Experts are experts because they’re not the ones who are confused.
The only way you can continue to be an expert is to make sure that you’re always one step ahead of your targets. If you lose that edge, then they are the experts and they’l...
0 reviews,
rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Drew Kittinger
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