Mother, how special is that thought;
Grand memories of all you brought
To my life.
How forlorn I would truly be
Without the precious memory
Of my father's wife.

Crushed was my heart that awful day,
When you were required to move away,
And leave me behind.
I know if you had had a choice,
Or if death had listened to my voice,
All would be fine.

But the wheels of time did stop.
For you as it did for "Pops"
So, again, I am left to grieve.
Oh mother nearest to my heart,
How soon you had to depart,
And your daughter leave.

My being, my soul in so much pain,
How can I ever be whole again,
Without you here?
My world turning gravely dark,
Life flames waning into mere sparks,
The future I do fear.

Mother nearest to my heart,
Why did you not to me impart,
Some wisdom to carry me through?
The anguish of a heart that's shattered,
Trying to live when nothing matters.
What am I to do?

How can I live out each new day,
When I can’t call you just to say,
“Hi mother dear?”
My home is now forever gone
My soul in solemn transit roams
A desolate sphere.

I must hold on to the promise made,
When I was scarcely more than babe,
That one day we'll meet again.
Until that glorious future day
When this brief life has past away
My love shall never wane.

My heart is grieved as I once again approach the anniversary of my mother's illness and eventual death. Though it has been over twenty years since her demise, it still seems as though it was yesterday. Thank you for allowing me to share this poem written a couple of years ago during a time such as this.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, though delayed in publication, is expected to be available early 2006.

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Blessings to all!

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