A management opportunity occurs when two or more people have a conflict . Whether it is a barroom brawl or settling a dispute those who take the initiative will typically prevail. Unlike a fight where blows are thrown, in a negotiation the combatants typically must feign civility and control. In the absence of absolute power, initiative and leadership are among the most reliable tactics used to win.

Those involved in a dispute comprise a small group and respond to group dynamics. They need to be managed. Mediators are effective in settling disputes because they have the mantle of authority. They take control and manage the settlement process. Negotiators should adopt certain mediating techniques.

How does one take control of an informal group? By exerting influence and demonstrating leadership traits. This can be done by initiate the call to arrange for the meeting, offering to host the meeting where you will have the ability to perform administrative tasks through your staff for the group, and preparing and presenting (or have on the table) an agenda for the meeting. These seem like small things but they demonstrate your confidence, your can-do attitude, and your control of the environment. All that is left is for you to control the discussion. That is not as easy. But you will have made a good start.

Managing a negotiation requires you to delegate responsibilities not only to your co-negotiators, if any, but to the other side. This delegation of assignments serves not only to get the job done but also to give everyone a vested interest in the outcome. A mediator advances the process by directing and delegating the participants in a mediation. This process serves to make both parties valuable to the process, more equal in their respective statures, and, ultimately, more likely to be able to come to reach an agreement.

In a negotiation, group participation can have a similar impact. That is, by getting both sides involved in working together, the resulting 'attitude' should be more supportive of reaching a mutually viable accord. To get two people openly at odds to work together start with simple tasks that are unrelated to the primary issue. Suggest the other person come with you to the coffee room to help get the coffee, cream and sugar. Another approach may be to suggest methods of sharing information, "If I can explain to you how I have valued the property will you demonstrate to me your cost basis?" This gets the parties involved in valuing a piece of real estate by working together. It calls upon each to be an expert in their own right.

Managing the negotiation process will enable you to settle more conflicts. People, for the most part, want to be led. That is human nature. By making small decisions easier for them, they will be inclined to go along with you. In the process, you are becoming an informal group leader. That leadership role should pay off when you have reach the final decision and need to get the other party to sign the agreement document or commit to the deal.

The author is an assistant editor at How-to-Negotiate.com, a site featuring articles about basic management skills required in the dispute settlement process and how people negotiate everything in their daily lives be it personal issues, parenting matters, social conflicts, or business or work related challenges. The site promotes the fact that conflict is a natural aspect of everyone's life and we should all work at improving our ability to negotiate the curves life throws our way.

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