Don't be a windbag... be winsome. Now more than ever, with online networking groups erupting at every turn, communication skills should be razor-sharp. If you're a network member, you know what I mean.

You've seen that lone networker, he stands out in a crowd... not so much for his smooth moves, but because he knows how to rattle people with his egocentrism. Yes, many a networker has been that communication clod (myself included) who just tromps upon people's egos and shakes up the group with bad vibes. That networker has a knack all right... for wiping out their future business prospects in one fell swoop.

The networking nimrod can use a few lessons in positive communication. Huh? Yes: accentuating the positive in your communication so that you remain lovable and winsome... even while disagreeing with another person.

How do you do this? Well, for starters you can recognize that just because your fellow internet marketer has one idea and you have another, does not mean you hold opposing viewpoints. So, don't start off on the wrong foot by introducing your remarks with an oppositional phrase. What's an oppositional phrase? Well, it's like a prepositional phrase, but different. (Okay, that was a joke.)

Here's how to add your two cents to a network discussion without making other people feel discounted and oogy inside:

Eliminate ALL negative statements about the other person before you type them.

Some examples of negative statements:

"I disagree."
"I think you misunderstand something."
"You're wrong."
"Here's what you don't know."

If you want to piggyback on someone else's idea, then start thinking of yourself as contributing ideas to the conversation instead of OPPOSING what someone else is saying. That's what you're doing after all, isn't it?

Instead of injecting your no's, nots, nevers and don'ts, begin your posts with a "yes and," "also," "maybe," "what if" and "additionally."

It is REALLY negative to always think that you're disagreeing with everyone! Unless what you're saying is the absolute converse white-to-their-black, you're actually just tossing your thoughts into the idea salad bowl.

Next time you want to share your expertise on the network, try "agreeing and adding to the conversation." You're bound to leave everyone feeling warm and fuzzy inside... and that, dear marketer, is the first step in becoming well-liked and winsome.

Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved.

Dina Giolitto is a copywriting consultant and ghostwriter with 10 years of experience writing corporate print materials and web content. Trust her with your next e-book, article series or web project, and make a lasting impression on your audience of information-hungry prospects. Visit http://www.wordfeeder.com for more information.

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