In all of our relationships, whether intimate or business, communication is the key to keeping the relationship moving in the right direction. Sometimes during a conversation, it is important to make sure you understood what was said. What I mean by this, is our own perception is taken in with the audio we are hearing. If you learn to ask the right questions, avoidance of miscommunication can be yours. A good example of what I mean: remember the game telephone you played as a kid? Someone whispers a sentence in the person’s ear next to them, and it moves down the line this way until the last person says it out loud. It never is the same as the original.

It is important that not only when you are listening do you ask the right questions, but when you are giving directions that you ask questions to make sure they were understood. No one likes to be ordered around and if everyone would practice this art of communication, errors could be avoided.

Some good questions and statements to start:

1. Are there any questions regarding this project?

2. I want to make sure I gave clear directions, could you please repeat them back to me? If in a group setting, ask each person if that is what they heard.

3. I just want to make sure that I understand what you are wanting, repeat what you heard, than ask if that is right.

The most important thing is to never accuse. All that does is back someone into a corner and the only thing a person will do when cornered is come out fighting. In those instances, it is better to tell the person how YOU are feeling about what was said.

Remember as with anything, this technique takes time and practice. Eventually, with practice you will override your old habits of communication. One more thing to keep in mind, never speak in anger. Better to step away and calm down, take a deep breath and get your thoughts and words together. Then you can approach the subject with a better frame of mind.

We are all different in the way we communicate and perceive. The above are just a few ways to begin communicating more efficiently. Try it for awhile and see if all your relationships don’t improve, while improving your stress level at the same time.

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