Q. "I'm just getting my business going, after being last off last year. So the lasthing I want is a silly twenty-dollar jokegift. A year ago, it would have been great. Now all I can think is, 'I could use a couple of twenty-dollar-bills right now.'" Signed: New Scrooge

A. Many of us have friends who are cutting back rather than racing forward. Some may be stressed out by cash flow crunches of a new business. Others have experienced personal losses. If they're feeling scroogier than ever, we can understand.

You don't have to limit your gifts to socks and underwear (although a good friend may welcome woolly socks from Eddie Bauer or a treat from Victoria's Secret). So, by request, here are tips on combining fun and function for the holiday season.

DON'T send a free e-card! Many of those sites collect email addresses for their own nefarious uses.

DO send gift certificates: for a restaurant -- even a pizza delivery service for amazon.com, magellan.com and other online boutiques for an office supply house -- Staples, Kinkos, OfficeMax

Tip: A friend is moving? Send her a gift certificate for a store or restaurant in her new city. Send a season ticket for theatre, ballet, symphony or basketball -- get him out of the house! (from my book, Making the Big Move)

DO send gifts for pets. Catnip, pet beds, and gift certificates for grooming all work well. I have one dog bed in each room and Keesha never, ever tries to sit on the furniture.

DO send coffee for caffeine fiends,

DO respect boundaries. Some people want to be alone on holidays, especially if they're single, newly moved or mourning a loss. Keep it low-key: "If you don't want to come for dinner, come by for coffee afterward-- if you feel like it. Don't bring a present. Do bring the dog."

And I'll share a secret. Just about every single person I know welcomes a take-home serving of holiday dinner. We always pretend it's for the cat. See my article on "being single on holidays."

And what if you're the one who's cutting back? Maybe this is a tough year and you're not feeling much holiday spirit. Maybe you lost a friend or family member, temporarily or permanently. Or you're getting over the flu.

There are no easy bromides. Some people create their own rituals. Some find comfort in the old rituals they know so well. Do as much as you can, comfortably. Whenever I say, "I just don't feel like it this year," I usually wish I had -- one year later.

One tip: Write down your experiences, feelings and wishes. Hide your writing for at least six months. A year from now the world will look very, very different.

About The Author

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com.

"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com

Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294

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