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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Nancy Buck
Not what you do but how you do it is the test of your capacity. -Mary Engelbreit
“I’ll take care of your kids,” I heard myself saying to my sister Charlotte when her daughter Katie was two years old and her son Jonathan was 14-months old. “In fact, I’ll ask Susan if she wants to send me her children, Kevin (age 7 years) and Michael (age 10 years) to stay with me too. We can have a cousin’s camp out.”
Charlotte and her husband Joe had been planning a two week cruise for over six months. The original plan was that my parents were going to baby sit Char’s kids. But my parents were unexpectedly called to North Carolina to take care of my mother’s dying uncle. They were unsure how long they would be unavailable. Charlotte feared she would have to cancel her special trip with her husband. So I volunteered to take care of her children. I actually thought having Susan’s older children would help us out.
With those few words to my sister I had committed myself to an expanded family for one summer. Paul and David were just under three years old. Suddenly my husband and I became the “parents” of six children: a 14-month old, three two year olds, a 7-year old and a 10-year old. Actually, we only had the children for two weeks. It just felt like forever!
In the beginning we were in over our heads. First, Kevin took a shower in the master bathroom, using the medicated shampoo that he found there. As Kevin screamed at the top of his lungs, both his older brother Michael and I came to his rescue. He had gotten shampoo in his eyes and thought he was blinded for life. With encouragement he washed his eyes out and discovered he could still see.
Next, Kevin developed severe asthma problems which incapacitated him. At one point I thought I was going to have to take him to the hospital because he was getting so dehydrated. Once again, Michael was able to assist. He encouraged Kevin to remain calm, sipping on ice cubes. The crisis past and soon Kevin was up and ready to play with every one else.
After these initial crises we were able to find our rhythm. Every other day we would go on a great adventure. We went to the zoo, the movies, to visit the battle ship and submarine in Fall River, and went on a picnic. On the alternative days we spent time at home regrouping and hanging out.
Suddenly becoming the “parents” of six kids changed our every day activities into great challenges to meet. Car trips meant we needed three car seats. We didn’t have a car large enough to safely seat everyone. In order to get from point A to point B we needed two cars. Charlotte had left me her large sedan that could safely carry four of us. We also needed to use our only remaining car, a small sports car. Michael, Kevin, Paul, David and Katie were all anxious to be the privileged rider in this convertible. But fitting a car seat in the bucket seats was not easy. Luckily our borrowed sedan had a large enough trunk space so we could carry all the strollers necessary.
Going to the movies to watch Snow White was another puzzle. Could the baby remain quiet enough for the duration of the film? Would the loud movie sound track
scare him? We decided that Jonathan and I would forego the film, strolling though the mall while the others enjoyed the movie. As the lights went down and the movie previews began to play on the large screen, Paul sat back in his theater seat. Because Paul was a little boy, the seat bottom collapsed, folding him into the seat. Paul remained standing throughout the movie.
That evening when we returned home from the movie, the four boys played kick ball. Baby Jonathan remained in the house with me while I prepared dinner for us all. But where was Katie? After looking out in the yard and finding only the boys, I become concerned. Looking further, I found Katie in the side yard collecting apples in a bucket that had fallen from the crab apple tree. Katie was playing out the movie, Snow White that they had all just seen.
Another day, after our fun trip to the zoo, I arrived home with 5 children. One car, one husband/father/uncle and one child were missing. This was long before the availability of cell phones. I had no idea where the other two people were. Had they stopped to buy corn for dinner? Had they taken a different route home? Had they gotten stuck in some traffic that I never came upon? Just as I began to get worried, I received a phone call.
Brian’s sports car had a flat tire blow out on the high way. Luckily, he and the two-year old with him were able to walk a short distance and find a gas station. Someone there was able to come to the rescue and tow the car. The two of them were now waiting at the gas station for the tire to be fixed. Every trip after that found us driving in a two car caravan to ensure everyone’s safe arrival at all destinations.
At some point during the two weeks, four out of the six children got sick. Remarkably this only happened on the days where we had nothing special planned. Equally remarkably, none of the illnesses lasted more than one day. Unfortunately, all of the illnesses involved vomiting and diarrhea. Luckily neither adult suffered from the passing “bug.”
Just as we had found the capacity to solve every challenge that we encountered, the two weeks was over. Charlotte arrived to pick up all of the extra four children, delivering Michael and Kevin back to their parents. Once the house was returned to only the usual four of our family it felt almost empty and silent. We all missed the fun and energy of Katie, Jonathan, Michael and Kevin. At the same time my husband and I committed to keeping our family with Paul and David as our only children. We had met the test and found our capacity. We were able to parenting more children than Paul and David, but only for two weeks.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nancy S. Buck, Ph.D. established Peaceful Parenting, Inc. in 2000 to bring her knowledge and experience with effective parenting to the greatest number of parents and other caretakers of children. She developed the Peaceful Parenting® program from her 25 years of experience as a developmental psychologist, trainer and educator with The William Glasser Institute and as the mother of twin sons. Her genuine, warm and authentic teaching style is clear and concise, helping learners move from the theoretical to real life situations.
http://www.peacefulparenting.com
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