When I first started out in private practice twenty years ago, I would often here people say to me "Jeff, you are really good at working with teenagers."

And I would think to myself "Well, thanks, and I breathe well too."

I discovered that most therapists either do not like working with teenagers or are frightened of them or both.

That was fine with me because their fear and dislike really helped me to build my practice when I first started out.

Adolescence is not a disease

You will rarely hear or see me refer to the teenage years as adolescence. This is because the term adolescence makes the teenage years sound like a disease or condition that needs to be cured.

Teenagers hurt in all the same places as we do

Sometimes we forget that their struggles are real because the level of challenges they face are so different from the level of challenges we face on a daily basis.

Here is a useful way to look at this phenomenon - If you have a broken finger and I have a broken arm, my injury may be more severe, but your finger still hurts like crazy.

One piece of advice to take with you

I said this to a parent just today:

"The average teenager is 15 going on 25 and 15 going on 5, all at the same time."

Keep that notion in mind, and you will do well as the parent of a teenager.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

• Beneath the Lemming Tree - The Tale of One Boys Escape


• Your Child Has ADHD - Are You Helping or Hurting?


• Childhood Communication Problem


• Humor for Women - My Pre-Teen Daughters Clothes


• Humor For Women - Christmas Spirit


• Family Rituals - The Glue That Binds


• Teen Dating Violence - What You Need to Know


• Drowning Prevention Tips


• Asperger Syndrome - Children and Tantrums


• Military Family Children- Tips for Parents and Teachers