Home and Family > Pregnancy > Involving Children in Labor and Birth
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Sarah Hilbert-West
It is a hard call on whether to involve siblings in the
active birth of their new brother or sister. You may feel
societal, family or institutional pressure not to have the
children involved, to protect them from potential “trauma.”
But you know your children best. The two main questions
are:
1) Are they interested in birth and have you intellectually
prepared them for the birth?
2) Will their presence help or hinder you?
1) Are they interested in birth and have you intellectually
prepared them for the birth?
Do they want to be there? Some children will specifically ask to come to the birth. They may ask, “where will I be when the baby comes?” or “who will take care of me?” Advise them ahead of time if they will be left sleeping if labor happens at night. They might be shocked to wake up to sitter or even a new baby!
Do they understand the labor and birth process and the anatomy of how the baby comes out? Do they understand the normalcy of the noises, faces and fluids that are part of labor and birth?
Prepare them by showing them books and pictures. Start
with black and white and work toward full color. Use
proper words for the parts of the body.
If you wish to show them a video, I highly recommend “Birth
Into Being,” The Russian Waterbirth Video, as the births
depicted have a calmness and serenity to them that make it
an ideal introduction to birth. The anatomy of birth is
well depicted, without the fear and stress of some birth
videos. I also find that the involvement of children in
some of the births is intriguing to other little ones, as
well as the swimming and the dolphins. (Yes, dolphins. Just watch the video, you’ll see what I mean)
2) Will their presence help you or hinder you?
Will you be comfortable expressing your needs and your emotions in front of your children? Some children are very soothing
for their mothers in labor, as the very act of being a
mother gives you strength and serenity. It may be
impossible to lose hope or express fear in the presence of
your child, as your protective mother instincts take over.
My then 4-year-old son was very helpful to me in early active
labor, as he patted me, gave encouragement, and best of
all, made me laugh. That said, he has been pretty direct
about his wish not to come to my next birth!
If they do attend the labor and birth of your new baby,
ensure that there is a support person there for each child.
Children will be experiencing all the emotions that you
and your partner are. They will feel anxiety, fear, hope
and love. They need emotional support and care. They
need entertaining and explaining. They need hugs and toys.
They need reinforcement of how normal it is. They may
simply sail through, with funny comments and tender
moments. Or they may get overwhelmed, tired or upset.
That is the time for a caring person to take the initiative
to offer support and distraction or a cuddle to the little
person in their care.
You know your children best. If they want to be involved in the arrival of their new sibling, find a way to make it happen, to their and to your own comfort level.
Sarah Hilbert-West is a Childbirth Educator, Birth Doula, Breastfeeding Counsellor and Post-Partum Depression Support Group Facilitator. She owns and operates http://www.birthwares.com, offering birth stools, unique teaching aids and useful resources for childbirth educators, doulas, parents, and midwives.
http://www.birthwares.com - the site for YOU!
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