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News and Society > Dating > Confessions Of A Male Internet Dater - What To Be Wary About In Yourself & Others
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Ted Gross
When you are nearing or just over your half-generation mark, (for those who don’t do quick math that is hitting the age of 50 – ugh!) and find yourself after divorce and looking for some type of relationship, many turn to the Internet and its plethora of dating sites to see what is out there. The problem is that most of those you have contact with day in and day out are not really available or you may just not be interested in them. Additionally, there is unquestionable mysterious excitement in putting your profile up on the dating sites and seeing just who may answer you or get in contact with you.
There are myriads of dating sites which cater to almost every type of relationship. From casual to serious, from gay to heterosexual, any possible desire and/or combination thereof can be sought and found and if you are willing and have the courage, joined.
However, in this short article I will talk about the male perspective in trying to find that “perfect” or at the very least, that “not yawn after yawn” woman to go out with. Let us assume that you have finally decided to post your profile on a specific dating site which we will call for the sake of this article, datetruth.com. The name I picked actually says it all. Most dating sites will ask you to describe yourself. Don’t lie. Most of us don’t look like Brad Pitt, our teeth are not capped with totally white gleaming crowns, and our muscles do not bulge out into the next state. Most of us are normal, okay looking people, with our own interests, hobbies and desires. The trick is, of course, to describe yourself, your true self in such a way, that others will be as interested in you as you are interested in yourself. (If you are not interested in yourself, then this is not the kind of article you should be reading anyway!)
Tell the Truth. Rule one. Cause sooner or later, if you do hook up with someone, it is going to come out on the first five minutes of the first date. Oh yes, if you are married and looking for an affair and lie about it well no one can stop you. But if you are truly single and truly seeking that one person, telling the truth is the only way to go.
The all important picture. Resist that temptation to put up a picture of you 15 years ago when your hair was thicker and not showing any strands of gray. Okay so you are not photogenic. Neither am I. But the picture is still important. 99%
of the women looking at profiles will stop or go on based upon the visual they get. BUT, how much worse will you feel, if you do hook up with someone and meet for a first date, and she walks into the café, and does not recognize you! And now the next hour is just a waste of time and neither of you gained anything except extreme disappointment and frustration.
As to looking over the profiles of the women. Here are some pointers:
1. Do NOT expect the pictures to be up-to-date. Just like you are tempted to put up a picture from 15 years ago so will your female counterpart.
2. Pay attention to the way the profile is written. Does it contain grammatical mistakes? Spelling mistakes? Is it a profile that describes the person, or can describe every female that ever walked the face of the planet? Beware of profiles that sound too good to be true. They usually aren’t.
3. If you are looking for a casual relationship – say so. If you are serious – say that as well. You will find yourself surprised how many people are just looking for a friend and a casual relationship while they “get their act together”.
4. Some partners want a husband. Others want a father for their children. Others want a sperm bank. Others want love. These are pitfalls you will learn to see and weed out when you are honest with yourself on what you are looking for.
In the end, if you are honest about what and who you are, you will probably find a great deal of women who are ecstatic to find someone like you. Before investing time though, make sure you know what it is you are looking for. And if you are not looking for anything, that too is good and certainly important to state. Casual or serious, straight or gay, whatever it is you are seeking – you can find if you just know how to look into the mirror and see the real you. Because that is exactly what your date will be seeing when you meet for the first time.
Ted W. Gross owns Virgin Earth, a real estate brokerage firm in Jerusalem, Israel. Virgin Earth represents residential and commercial real estate all over Israel. The web site for Virgin Earth is: http://www.virginisrael.com.
Virgin Earth also maintains an RSS Feed on its current properties which can be found on most pages in the web site of Virgin Earth. Ted Gross can be reached at: teddy@virginisrael.com
Ted Gross is also a published author and maintains a web site for his works. This can be found at: http://www.virginisrael.com/twg/iw.html
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