Halle Berry voted as one of the most beautiful women in the world is twice divorced, Britney Spears – today’s pop princess is under thirty and on her second marriage, Brad and Jen – the showbiz couple of all time recently ended their first marriage of four years and Jennifer Lopez the multi-talented walking empire with a pretty face and most talked about booty is on her third marriage. How could this be? These people have all of the things that most of us look for in potential partners - money, power, success, beauty, glamour, fabulousness and celebrity. If they have it “all,” why are they divorcing at a rate that none of us can keep up with? Because it takes more than bills, beauty and a booty to have a successful long-term relationship.

There are three key ingredients needed in order for a relationship to work:

Prerequisites

Simply stated, a prerequisite is a must; it’s a deal breaker. The relationship will not work if this is not present. There is no room for compromise. For example, either you want a child or you don’t want a child. If you want to have a child and you are dating someone who doesn’t want any children but you think you can convince this person to change their mind, quit while you are ahead and find someone who wants what you want. Here’s how you test a prerequisite; ask yourself, “If everything else was wonderful in my relationship but my partner didn’t want to ever have children, would the relationship work for me? If the answer is no, then it is a prerequisite. If the answer is yes, then it is probably a need that can be negotiated.

Needs

Needs are those things within the relationship that can be negotiated. There is room for compromise. Kimberly needs to be alone when she comes home from work before being with her husband. She needs to unwind from the day by doing her yoga and stretching for at least 30 minutes. This is something that she can easily negotiate with her husband without affecting the quality of their relationship.

Wants

A want is the icing on the cake; those things that keep the relationship exciting like leaving little notes in the car for him or surprising her with a weekend getaway. Wants normally don’t have to be negotiated and the relationship would still work for you if they were not present.

By learning all you can about yourself, potential partners and looking deeply at what really matters to you, your chances of choosing the right partner greatly increase. Make sure that your choices are in alignment with your Prerequisites, Needs and Wants. If these three items are missing, all the glamour, beauty, money, celebrity and great bodies in the world won’t be enough to save the relationship. I wonder what will happen with the Zellweger Chesney marriage or Ben and Jen marriage? Want to speculate?

Remember to, “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness and or misery.” H. Jackson Brown – Life’s Little Instruction Book

Something to think about...

Coach Yvonne Chase
The Single Woman’s Cheerleader
http://www.availableandhappy.com
coachyvonne@availableandhappy.com
877-7-RELATE (773-5283)

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