Did you ever notice how some rather "ordinary" looking people have no trouble attracting all the dates they want? If you followed them around for a while you might discover their secret--the art of the compliment.

Compliments have a force not completely understood by many people. They create a surge of positive emotion in both the sender and the receiver. If you are single, learning how to compliment someone you are interested in can mean the difference between success and failure.

Compliments highlight the fact that you have been paying attention to the person you are talking to or have noticed. Positive validation of another induces a rush of good feeling in them; you in turn receive their happiness by way of a smile and a shared moment of connection, which reinforces feeling good about yourself. Compliments are a win-win for everyone.

It is important to note that your compliments must be genuine. Compliments given to manipulate others to gain an advantage are offensive and usually transparent.

To become an expert in paying a compliment, look for what is truly attractive, admirable, or endearing in another person and then tell them about it. Do not gush or drag it out. Otherwise, it sounds like you are expecting something in return. Many people often refrain from giving compliments because they don't want to seem like they are "buttering" someone up. If you feel this way, imagine shifting your thoughts about that act of kindness to the following: giving sincere praise is an act of generosity and love.

The interesting side benefit of giving compliments is that the more you give, the more you will receive. They are especially effective in breaking the ice when you are meeting someone new. To pay attention to what someone says, what they wear, or what they do is flattering. People love to be around someone who sees something good about them. It makes them feel appreciated.

Learn to pay thoughtful compliments and notice how the level of your attraction rises. As your attraction rises, so will the number and quality of your dates.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com for more insight and skills on love, relationships, singles and dating. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Please note source and author if reprinting this article.

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