This is fact. There's competition in online dating. A winning personal ad is must if you hope to get the right guy or gal.

This article is not about revealing "secrets" of writing personal ads as there's no such animal. But follow the following tips and you will stand out of the crowd, which you must do to get noticed.

First draft your ad on a separate piece of paper or type it on a word-processing document such as Word, WordPad, and Notepad etc. Here are 12 steps to writing a winning personal ad:

1. Be honest: If you're serious about finding that special someone don't, repeat don't, lie. Nothing's as disappointing as finding out the guy/gal who claimed in emails that he/she works out regularly at the gym is 300ibs of adipose (fat) tissue.

2. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. Most people look at the photo before they even think of reading the ad. You may email, upload or mail the photo for scanning, all free. But please don't use a picture of yourself when you were twenty if you are now 44! And oh yes, a smile helps too.

3. The top-rated dating sites allow you to upload a voice message with your ad. Your voice as well as manner of speech tells a lot about you. Use it the right way- no pretences please- and your ad will get attention.

4. Don't just say what you think people want to hear. Example, if you say you have a healthy sense of humor, yet your ad is dull and boring… well, they just won't buy it.

5. Be realistic. Maybe you want to introduce some athletic genes into your family tree, but you will have a hard time finding an international Kenyan runner online.

6. Let your personality come through. Conversational style writing works best. If you have a sense of humor, use it but in good taste (don't tell a dirty joke in a non-adult website, please). Ditto if you have a poetic touch- just don't baffle them with Shakespearean speak.

7. Create an

8. Describe yourself. You do know yourself, don't you? Don't be just another "Likes candle light dinners". Who are you? What's important to you? Do you enjoy long drives while appreciating nature's beauty? Do you like Bach or Mozart? List these down.

9. This is more of an extension of #8 above: Instead of rambling on about the person you're looking for, write about you own characteristics and personality. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and ask yourself what you would like about YOU. List these down. Please be honest. All the same, avoid cheap modesty. If you have a special talent (example, you can play the piano really well), let it be known. Just state it as fact and not brag.

10. Be positive: You may be desperate and miserable, but please don't let it show. Negativity repels. Likewise avoid "this is me, whether you like it or not" mentality. Not only is it obnoxious, it also reeks of insecurity and/arrogance. Be yourself, positively.

11. Polish your ad: You wouldn't show up on your first date with unkempt hair and dirty clothes, I trust? Then check your ad for misspellings, bad sentences etc. Remove all the bits that might not interest your potential date. Be brief without losing essence: patience runs very thin online. Re-write till you're completely satisfied- this might seem a pain in the rear, but the payoff is worth it.

12. BE HONEST! This can never be overstated.

Finished? Now you can transfer (or copy and paste) your extraordinary ad on to your favorite dating site and submit.

David Kamau is the owner of B-Ma-Friend.com, which specializes in online dating reviews and updates as well as tips and advice. Visit http://b-ma-friend.com/subscribe.htm and find out how you can receive free gifts.

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