Note the 'NOT' in the title. The truth is, a good share of marriages that end in divorce could probably be salvaged, and a mutual life already built by two people continued and saved. However, when tensions reach the boiling point, a separation is often the best recourse. The next step after tempers have cooled and reason returns is likely to be a trip to divorce court.

But this is one instance in life when being just plain stubborn isn't always the smartest move, especially when there are children involved who love both parents and hate it when the two people they love most in the world continue to fight.

How often in Real Life does one partner say to the other, 'I've changed my mind. I still love you and want more than anything to resolve our differences and reconcile. Couldn't we both give our marriage another try?'

Love is the bottom line. No doubt in some cultures, and even in some parts of the United States, there were marriages of convenience and 'arranged marriages', when love may not be the most essential factor. It's even rumored that some people marry for money -- horrors! But true love that bonds two people is worth more than a king's ransom, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Some search for love all their lives and never find it, while others hop from marriage to marriage as if they were merely changing dance partners. If you are a person of faith, ask yourself 'What would the Lord want for our family?' The answer will come to you instantly, if you only take a quiet moment to remember your faith and ask Him. And if you don’t believe in a Higher Power, then ask yourself what the end of your marriage will mean in terms of dollars and cents, loss of mutual friends, and so many other practical considerations.

So, after the separation or 'respite' has ended, consider the outcome you really want. There are even classes on the Internet intended to guide you. Here are some websites that might help you to consider options other than divorce: http://home.universalclass.com/i/crn/3944.htm http://www.savethemarriage.com/ with Dr. Lee Baucom and http://www.couplesgarden.net/

About the Author: Stephania edits a twice-monthly HTML ezine, Tidbits from the Pantry, that is currently sent to more than 11,000 opt-in subscribers. She recently retired after 40 years in the field of human services, and offers a free evaluation of a life problem to any subscriber by email.

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• Divorce Remorse - The Basics


• Marriage Guidance - Is It Worth It?


• Thinking About Divorce


• Life After Divorce- Surviving Financially


• Stress Studies and Divorce


• How to Get A Divorce


• Five Steps Before Filing Divorce


• The Importance of Choosing the Right Divorce Lawyer


• What You Need to Know About Alimony