Marriage conflicts are fairly common but there are a few cures for them. If you know that you and your mate have had differences of opinions on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.

If you are married, especially with children, breaking out of the habit of talking about nothing can be a crucial part of developing healthy relationships. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, “Do you like your carrots?”, or “I wonder what is on TV tonight?” Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest in your mate and other family members. Replace the normal, “Did you have a good day at work?” with “Tell me what you did at work today.” Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate’s life.

Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places. If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase. Perhaps they have a long commute to work. If so, slip a note saying, “I love you,” in your mate's CD case where you know he or she will find it. Another recommendation is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing seen by your loving mate in the morning. Be creative and have some fun with this.

When working on your marriage or couple relationship, more than likely you and your mate have settled into a pattern of speaking to each other. It might be with short, blunt answers, heavy sighs as though bothered, or with negative remarks. Pay attention to more than your words spoken, but also the tone in which they are spoken. Be positive, cheery, and respond in a way that will confirm to your mate that you are listening and truly interested – that you have time to listen and communicate. In addition, add terms of endearment into your conversation. Instead of “Good morning,” try, “Hi honey, good morning!”

Experts will disagree on how much of a person’s past should be shared in a marriage or couple relationship and while some things probably should be shared, most people lean more to not sharing every aspect of the past. First, it is the past. Think back to how much people grow through the teen years to mid-twenties. Offering unnecessary information from the past is a great way to create distrust, insecurity, and more questions than answers. Be wise when sharing.

Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, self help for developing more confidence and healthy relationship building.

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