News and Society > Marriage Wedding > Mission Possible: Loving Our Husbands After Having Children
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Sara Duggan
Do you remember long walks, holding hands, and long nights talking about nothing at all? NO! You must be parents. Don’t fret because I’m on a mission to put the Romance back into marriage.
Mission #1: Time
Finding the time for your spouse after children is a challenge. You both care for the children and want the best for them. What is the best? I believe the best thing we can offer our children is T.I.M.E. – time with our children and time with each other. Show your children that you matter to each other. It doesn’t have to be an hour each day(Like you can find a spare hour) although that would be nice. Start out small with say 5 minutes of just Mama and Papa time. Let the children know that this is your time and you would like them to respect that. If they see you making time for them and each other they will see love.
Mission #2: Conversation
When was the last time you talked to each other? No, I don’t mean about the children, the laundry, or poopie diapers. Do you know what’s going on in each other’s life? Do you know what work is like? Is your spouse having a problem with his/her best friend? Does your spouse feel trapped? Is he/she depressed? Do they miss you? These are all very important things to communicate with each other no matter how busy life gets. Don’t feel like you are bothering each other because this is what marriage is about. You share a unique relationship with each other. You compliment one another. When one is down the other lifts them up and vice a versa.
Again you’ll want to start out slow because jumping into anything head first HURTS. A nice alternative to cold stares is a conversation jar. Take some paper and write down little conversation starters. Each day take one out of the jar and spend at least 5 minutes talking --- really talking to each other.
Mission #3: Love Notes
Remember passing notes in class to the boy or girl you were crushing on? Remember the nice feeling you got when the answer to a secret question was YES! Sneak a note into your husband’s sock drawer. Tape a note on the fridge, in the bathroom, on the vacuum, above the kitchen sink – anywhere you know your spouse will be. You might even make a key tag for his keys so he’ll always see your note. Each day give your spouse a compliment and remember why you said YES to marriage.
Mission #4: Holding Hands
Holding hands sounds like an impossible mission what with children always around but if you utilize a little skill and creativity it can be done. Sneak in a handholding session while in the car or while watching the children play. This simple act let’s your spouse know that you care enough to take the time to connect both physically (touch) and emotionally (eye contact).
Mission #5: Long Walks
Okay, Okay maybe you don’t remember long walks with your spouse pre-marriage it doesn’t mean you can’t start. Ask a neighbor, friend or relative to watch the children for a half-hour each day or even every other day. You can even start out with going around the block—slowly. Take your time and sneak in a handholding session while you at it. Talk to each other or better yet remain silent. The key here is to take the time to slowly appreciate the presence of one another.
Setting reminders on your calendar or computer will help you ‘Keep the date’ at first. Start out slowly and increase the time for activities together. As your children grow up seeing you make time for each other they will respect that time and even give you that time – bickering free.
Sara Duggan is the mama of 2 active boys. She and her husband live in California. To find more tips and ideas on how to bring romance back into your marriage visit her at http://www.mommie-care.com and sign up for her monthly ezine.
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