News and Society > Relationships > Change Your Relationship Today, If Not Your Partner
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Julie Coombs
No matter where we are in our relationships we
can begin to get more of what we want simply by
changing our thoughts about our partner.
Typically, as a relationship progresses we begin
to notice things we don't like. We tend to fall
into the trap of trying to change unwanted qualities
or behaviors, usually by making our partner feel
bad when the negative trait manifests itself.
This is usually due to the conditioning we
received from our past, which says, "Punish bad
behavior to discourage future infractions".
This method appears to work at first, and it
always, always comes with a high price.
Punishment builds resentment no matter what the
results are. It places one partner above the
other, as a parent to a child. Punishment says,
"I love you...but, only when you behave in a way
that pleases me, I value my selfishness over yours."
It's impossible to punish someone for being
selfish because the very act of puninishing
another for their selfisheness is selfishness
itself. Punishment creates conflict, and conflict
leads to stress and frustration.
None of us got together with our partner in order
to endure unhappiness. We entered into the
relatioship with our partner, because in the
beginning, they made us feel good. Good about
ourselves, about life and our future together.
It's this good feeling that we both desire, it's
the giving and receiving of this that creates a
a solid relationship.
So. How do we get back to that good feeling place
from a place of frustration and resentment?
By appreciating. A little bit of appreciation is
very effective at getting the results we desire.
The great part about appreciation is that we are
each in complete control of it. We can choose to
appreciate that which we enjoy at any time in
any moment. A little bit of appreciation daily
for our partner - whether they're near us or not
- causes us to respond to them differently when
they are with us, and our appreciation is felt by
our partner, even if we don't vocalize it.
Speaking the phrase "thank you" alone isn't always
enough, the magic of appreciation is found in the
internal feeling of genuine gratitude for our
partner's positive aspects that is felt and
affects change. Letting the internal feelings
flow to the external, however, gives us the best
of both worlds.
Here's a simple experiment you can try yourself.
It's based on a principle that says, "What we
focus upon expands."
At least once a day, for the next two weeks,
take 17 seconds and focus upon a positive aspect
of your partner that you enjoy. Really get into
the feeling place of your appreciation. See it,
feel it, know it. The next time your partner
exhibits this quality in your everyday life,
reward them with appreciation in that moment,
without telling them what it's for.
It can be as simple as a smile, or a hug, or a
squeeze on the knee. If they ask you what that
was for, just say something like,
"because I love you."
If you watch, you will notice how much more often
this quality manifests itself.
We know you'll be amazed at how big a difference
17 seconds a day of focused appreciation can make
in your relationship without you ever having to
change a single thing about your partner.
Let us know of your results. We look forward to
your stories of success.
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Co-Written by Andrew Wilcox & Julie Coombs
http://windowe.powerfulintentions.com
http://diamondjul.powerfulintentions.com
2 new tele-courses starting in January based on
Law of Attraction for Relationships!
http://sourceofcourse.com/?q=node/12
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