News and Society > Relationships > Let Him Go!
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Carol Ann Culbert Johnson
How many women have men in their lives that they know they need to just let go? I raise my hand because I am guilty as sin. I have this man in my life that I had been dating for almost two years now. I don’t even know why he’s in my life. Our relationship is doomed from the beginning.
I love this man and that’s the only reason, of course. I also want someone in my life so I keep him around for protection of my heart, but the brother isn’t working out. He’s just not getting it.
When I get into a relationship I look for many things:
1. A good conversationalist.
2. A man who can make me laugh.
3. An unconditional man.
4. An intelligent man.
5. A romantic man.
6. A man who has no wife hidden in the shadows.
7. An honest man.
8. A man that wants to please his woman.
9. A man that likes to go to the beach, the movies, and just romantic things.
10. A man I can depend on in my time of need.
11. A man I can talk to about anything and everything.
12. A man I can share my innermost and dark secrets with.
13. A man I can grow old with.
14. An older man who turns me on.
15. A man who wants to get married along the way.
16. A working man.
17. A man with similar goals in mine.
18. A man who believes in my dreams and vice versa.
19. A faithful man.
20. A man who trusts me.
21. A man who loves me.
22. An affectionate man.
23. A passionate man.
My current boyfriend does not have these traits, and I mean does not have any of them. I’d have to say from the beginning he shared some of the twenty-three (23) things listed on this list, but now he is taking me for granted.
Number 1 he could talk for hours about himself. He had stories to tell and he needed someone to listen to every one of them.
Number 2 was why I ended up giving him my telephone number. He made me laugh from the minute our eyes met. I thought he was full of shit, but he made me laugh and I ran with it.
Number 3 was the main ingredient why I also gave him my telephone number. He told me that I looked good. I knew this could have been a line, but the way he was staring at me, I knew he meant every word of it. I wasn’t petite, so this was a plus sign for me. I really liked him because of the fact that he was an unconditional man. I didn’t have to be skinny to row his boat.
Number 10 worked for me because anything and everything that I needed he came through for me. When I used my entire paycheck for bills, I always had something in my pocket because he made sure of that. I could truly depend on him which made me fall hopelessly in love with him.
I believe I was going to grow older with this man. Number 13 gave me hope. He was about ten years older than me, but he had this aura about himself, and age didn’t mean anything to me. I kept seeing us in our seventies and eighties still together and it was a horrific picture being so old, but it rang my bell, and then some. I didn’t want to grow old alone. I wanted a mate in my life. I thought it was him.
I should have known our relationship was doomed from the beginning because he didn’t trust me, and I didn’t trust him. I was faithful to him, but I have a feeling that he was playing on me. He had the audacity not to trust me, and accused me of doing every man in Chicago and then some. I figured he was the one feeling guilty and accused me of sleeping around when the deed was on him.
How could you honestly be in a relationship with someone if you don’t trust them? The relationship is over, and it’s time to move on. These, of course were the warning signs in my relationship, but as most of us desperate women do, we ignore the signs because we want the man, and he’s not even a ten. So far, he’s a two in my book.
Number 23 describes him from the beginning. He was very passionate for me, and he couldn’t get enough of me. I liked that in him, but along the way his health became an issue, and I was lucky enough to get a kiss from him. I believed he was too busy banging another woman, that she was getting all his passionate and affectionate side.
These are the signs of just letting him go. Why couldn’t I let him go?
He wasn’t number 5 at all. The man didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Now that should have been a turn off for me right from the start. I had no business giving him my telephone number when he wasn’t in the romance game. If I had listened to that sign, then I wouldn’t be in this mess I am in now. If he is not romantic enough then it’s time to let him go. It’s time to move on. I shook my head and ignored the signs because I just wasn’t moving on.
Maybe number 14 was a turn off. Did I need someone older in my life? Maybe a younger woman would have sufficed for me? I didn’t give it a chance because he knew how to turn on the charm. My man had it going on and then some. He had taken a class in conning a woman, and he had passed with flying colors. My man was able to get a certificate, associate degree, bachelor’s degree, and his masters in the evolution of conning women 101. I should have taken this class also, and then I would have been one up on him.
I went through my issues, but the camel that broke the horse’s back was Number 10. I was short on cash, and I needed a ride home from work. It was after midnight, and my bus stopped running. I thought my daughter was picking me up, but she had car trouble, and couldn’t get to me. I knew I’d get home so I called my boyfriend. I never thought he wasn’t going to come through for me.
I told him the situation with my daughter and that I was literally stranded at work. He complained about the police, and his breaks, and everything under the sun. I was stunned beyond words when he wouldn’t come and get me. I couldn’t believe it. I would have to spend the night at work, and this man didn’t give a damn. I thought I was going to die from heartbreak.
This man I had spent almost two years of my life wouldn’t take a chance on me. I knew if one of his family members called, or his friends, he’d be in the car so fast, his head would stop spinning, which was why I got so angry with him. Suffice to say he didn’t come and get me, and I was able to get a ride with one of my co-workers. I had to keep from weeping in the car because I was so upset.
I was in love with this man, and the fact that he wouldn’t get off his fat ass and make sure that the woman he proclaimed to love got home safety was an eye-opener to me. When I did get home, I wept for the misery I was feeling. I realized that I had been wasting a lot of time with this man. He really didn’t give a damn about me. It was time to kick him to the curve; dump the bastard; curse his ass out, and then slam the phone down in his face. It was time to let him go.
Of course when I got home he had called my home phone about five times making sure that I got home. Why in the world would you care if you didn’t make sure I got home? I called him back because I wanted to hear his excuses again, and he had plenty. I didn’t buy any of them. I knew this man, and I watched him get out of the bed and go pick up strangers in the middle of the night. What was wrong with this scenario?
He had the nerve to come at me with the fact that he had been going through a depression of financial problems, and I should be more understanding. I told the bastard to have a nice life, but I was no longer a part of his life, and our relationship was over. I told him to fuck off! If he didn’t give a damn about me getting home, then he didn’t give a hoot about me. I let him go.
The pain was literally killing me as the days passed, but I had my pride. I knew I couldn’t depend on this man for anything, and I didn’t need him in my life. This thought kept me going for the lonely days ahead. Four days later he had the nerve to call me with the same plight----I have a lot of financial problems, and I need support. He left this message on my cell phone voice mail, and I was thrilled because I thought I’d melt and go back to him, but this time I kept my pride in check. Our relationship was officially over when you left me stranded at work. I would never forget this for the duration of my life. There’s nothing you could ever say to me to make this right. It’s over!
So listen women out there. The true test is getting into a life and death situation and seeing if he’s going to bail you out. The man you’re giving your body too; the man you love with your heart and soul. If he can’t rescue you in a time of need, then do the right thing and LET HIM GO! The self-respect and pain just isn’t worth it. LET HIM GO!
I am 43 years old, and I live in Oak Lawn, IL a suburb of Chicago. I love writing and reading which is my passion, and I am a new author of I CONFESS and EVERYTHING AND MORE. Please check out my website at http://www.freewebs.com/jcarolann and take a ride with me.
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