Designing your own relationship vision requires a shift in your thinking.

Most of us seem to stumble into relationships and marriage, and then continue to sort of make it up as we go along. It's been my clinical experience that relationships take much more conscious planning to be successful. I guess if I was selling insurance I would be saying, "Most people don't plan to fail, they just fail to plan."

But what if we were able to design our relationships in the way we would most like them to be? What would that be like?

A starting point for this vision is the question: "If you knew you couldn't fail, and you could create your relationship any way you would want it to be, what would it be like?"

Step by step, create a plan

Creating your relationship vision is really quite easy. Discuss and choose two or three areas where you would like to design your relationship.

For each area you have decided to work on, simply follow this four-step process:

Brainstorm: Come up with as many ideas as possible. No idea is too silly or impossible at this stage. This is not a time for criticism or "yes, -but ...." Use your creativity. All ideas are acceptable at this point.

Decide on two or three ideas that will head you in the direction you want to go.

Delegate: Assign different tasks to each partner, including a date they should be done by.

Follow through - This is probably the most important and yet most difficult of the three steps. It does not matter how good your intentions and ideas might be, you have to follow through.

This four-step process can help you to design consciously the kind of relationship you both want.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

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