In part 5 of The Cycle of Conflict, I described Stage 3 of the cycle. This is the stage when the relationship turns cold and behaviors become mean. I explained what the couple would need to do to prevent the cycle from entering the abyss of Stage 4.

After repeated intense episodes of conflict, the cycle can spiral out of control. This occurs when an event happens and the final straw is broken. It begins like all of the other times but the seething anger, frustration, resentment, disgust and contempt will reach a point of no return.

With the wound fully exposed and the deep rooted fears oozing out from it, the Sender will allow their anger to go above a threshold. The anger will erupt as an uncontrollable rage, a fury of emotions. This is the most dangerous phase because the Sender will be temporarily insane, will not be cognizant of what they are saying or doing and unfortunately will not remember what happened afterwards. These actions can be displayed as verbal, emotional and/ or physical abuse. They can throw things, break things, run out of the house, have uncontrollable tantrums, scream at the top of their lungs, push you, hit you, hurt you and act totally irrational.

The Receiver will shut down emotionally and try to weather the storm. They begin to wonder if their partner is crazy and unfortunately all they have is the evidence in front of them. As this scenario plays out, the receiver begins to wear down from the threatening irrational actions of the Sender. Usually the receiver becomes scared, frustrated and bewildered because the Sender is so emotionally activated. The Sender will dominate the conversations by yelling, screaming, demanding and will thwart any chance of a two-way

At this point the pendulum begins to swing to the receiver with their activation escalating to the other extreme. After repeated episodes of intense reactions the receiver will begin to feel overwhelmed and flooded with negative feelings, become fearful of the rages and start to lose the trust, respect and love for their partner. As the emotional and physical withdrawal becomes more evident it can cause further activation of the sender and the cycle repeats itself until the receiver ends up building a wall around them.

If the cycle is repeated frequently enough over a period of time, the wall will become a hardened bunker and the love, trust and intimacy that was once enjoyed will be lost and the relationship will begin to die a slow and agonizing death.

At this point the couple may pursue three different alternatives:

1 – Break the cycle and try to save the relationship.

2 - Live the rest of their lives repeating this cycle. Yuck!

3 - Become flooded by repeated cycles and eventually separate or divorce.

In Part 7 of The Cycle of Conflict, I will summarize what we have learned.

I offer Free Quizzes, e-Programs; Special Reports, Newsletter and Free 30 minute Coaching Sessions. The Programs Page http://www.i-to-we-relationship-coaching.com/programs.html will list the special 5-session introductory programs I offer for all 6 Stages of Relationships. If you have any questions or comments, please Contact Me http://www.i-to-we-relationship-coaching.com/contact-me.html Please visit my website at http://i-to-we-relationship-coaching.com/ to see how I help Individuals, Singles and Couples to find and keep their Best Friend during the Day, Lover at Night and Partner for Life.

• The Sunday Morning Test


• Free Relationship Quiz - Committed Couples


• Relationship Coaching for Couples- The WE in I-TO-WE


• Relationship Coaching for Singles - The TO in I-TO-WE


• The Cycle of Conflict in Relationships - Part 1 – How It Begins


• The Cycle of Conflict in Relationships - Part 2 - Stage 1 of the Conflict


• The Cycle of Conflict in Relationships - Part 3 - Stage 2 of the Conflict


• The Cycle of Conflict in Relationships - Part 4 – The Beginning of the End


• The Cycle of Conflict in Relationships - Part 5 - Stage 3 of the Conflict


• Diary Complaints


• What I Would Like Men to Change (as a Whole)


• Does Anger Trigger Abuse?


• Relationship Advice: Make Your Partner Happier by Being Happier Yourself


• Relationship Help for Women: How To Do Intimacy Even If Youre Afraid (We All Are)


• What is Romance, and How Can You Be More Romantic?