When a friend threw out this topic for a column, I thought, "Oh boy! This should be easy!!"

Wrong.

I spent the better part of the week mulling this over: If I could, what would I like to change about men, as a whole.

Everything that came to mind seemed so superficial and trite. How could I take something and apply it to all men. The usual things that annoy me about men just didn't seem big enough anymore to warrant wanting to apply it to the entire collective. "I would make men better listeners," and, "I would make men less coarse" (no belching or spitting), just didn't seem all that important in the greater scheme of things.

This drew me in deeper and I very became contemplative.

What would I change about men as a whole?

If I could, I would remove the warring faction that resides inside of men - that most women seem to lack.

As long as man has walked the earth, he has waged war on other men. Men reach for sticks, stones, guns and bombs when they perceive a wrong. Civil wars, world wars and cold wars have been launched by men who's goals are to exact revenge, dominate or enslave. While there has been a marginal amount of women who have used war as men have - Catherine the Great, Margaret Thatcher and

In the smaller scale of day-to-day living, when two men perceive a wrong they will often times opt to duke it out - fisty cuffs behind the pub. It makes them feel better to know they have superior physical power over their enemy.

When two women perceive a wrong, each will turn to her support group (friends or family), talk about the wrongdoer and label her with names commonly associated with ladies of the night and kennel dogs. Rarely will a women resort to physical war games -- unless of course, the women are guests of the Jerry Springer Show.

But without the proverbial magic wand, waved at just the right moment back at the primordial pond, such a change can't be made. Men will continue to beat their chests and thrust their fists.

Belching I can live with.

War I can't.

Copyright (c) 2005 Maureen Valdes Marsh - All Rights Reserved

Maureen Valdes Marsh is a former newspaper reporter. She now writes a semi-punctual, weekly opinion column, Musings of Vintage Grace. She is the author of the upcoming book from Collectors Press, Be There or Be Square: Fashion Flares of the 1970s -- due out in Fall '06. You can read more of Maureen's writing on her vintage clothing website, Vintage Grace at http://www.vintagegrace.com

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