News and Society > Sexuality > Meeting with Other Swingers
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Julia Tanner
You’ve scoured the internet, gone to a few swingers clubs and found a great couple or a few couples. What do you do now?
Suddenly, it can feel like a first date all over again. And it should in many respects. You want to impress the other couple, while also seeing if you can get along.
Before you go
Setting up a meeting in a non-sexual environment is the best place to begin. If you’ve met in a swingers club, you still want to take this step to see the other couple in a more ‘normal’ setting.
Talk about where you both want to meet. You may want to find somewhere that will allow you to talk openly without worrying about others listening.
It’s time to look pretty now. Men, you need to look nice. This means dress shoes and dress pants. You can wear a nice shirt as well. I don’t think that a jacket or tie is necessary, unless the restaurant or meeting place is more upscale. And for the women, you will want to dress to impress. Don’t be afraid to show off your best assets, without looking too provocative. Again, the setting can help to determine what you will want to wear. You want to blend in with everyone else.
Take showers (I hope that I didn’t have to say that) and wear a little cologne or perfume. Women, put on nice makeup and jewelry. Men, take the time to trim your facial hair (if you have any). Arrive on time.
When you’re there
You’ve all sat down, ordered some drinks and are starting to talk. At this point, you generally want to talk about everyday things—your jobs, your families, etc. If you feel uncomfortable sharing something, then you don’t have to. What’s important at this stage is seeing how you communicate.
If you’re sitting in silence, then it might not be a good sign for a swinging relationship. Likewise, if you can only talk to each other while drinking heavily, that too may not be a good sign. Watch the alcohol during the first few meetings.
You will generally be able to see if this is a couple for you because you’ll feel like friends, rather than strangers. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay, but be clear if you’re not interested at that point.
If all goes well…
This is the point where your open communication will come into play. If you’re feeling good about each other and you want more, then start talking about it. Talk about what you want in a swinging relationship and see where the conversation goes. You may make plans for a more private meeting the next time.
Discuss rules that you may want to make and the terms of protection (both birth and STD) for everyone. This is no time to be shy, especially when you’re talking about your health and the health of someone else.
If you’re satisfied with your talk, then you can figure out your next meeting.
Now the real fun begins…
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