Self Improvement > Attraction > Good Enough
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Sharon Teitelbaum
"If I'm not going to earn money from it, I shouldn't do it!" Is this your inner voice stopping you from pursuing something you would enjoy, like a creative endeavor, a sport, or an exploration? Many people blindly obey this inner nay-sayer. They decide they're already not "good enough" at something to justify spending time on the very thing they feel compelled to explore. If this is a script you use to sabotage your dreams, it's time to stop!
The truth is, your wanting to play the flute again, or write short stories, or learn tennis, or whatever you are called to do, is reason enough to do just that. The potential benefit to you lies in the DOING of the activity, not in your reaching some external performance standard. Enormous value awaits you in your pursuit of what you are called to do. Wherever you are on the continuum of talent and skill, you are good enough to merit participating in the activity.
You say you won't be performing to sold-out concert halls? So don't quit your day job . . . but play your flute! Chances are you can find other people at your level to play with. If performing is important to you, then you will also find appropriate venues and audiences.
You say roller-blading looks fun, but it's "too late" for you to learn? Wrong! You may have to endure the humbling indignities of learning new physical skills, but don't kid yourself -- it's not too late. Just because you are used to feeling "on top of your game" in many arenas -- work, relationship, aerobics -- don't let yourself be turned off by the prospect of feeling clumsy and unskilled. You may
never be a remarkable roller-blader, but don't rob yourself of having roller-blading in your life. You can't afford to disregard your desire to do it! You don't have to be "good" at it in order to enjoy it. And if it's important to you, you can always get better at it.
When I first started my cycling training, I felt like the slowest person on the road. It took a lot of hard work to get myself literally up to speed to finish the endurance event I had chosen. I had to learn to disregard and replace the recurrent internal voice that said, "You're too slow! You shouldn't be doing this!" I learned to talk back to that voice by saying things like, "It's not a race" and "I'm getting faster."
You know what? For all my work and effort, I'm still not a
remarkable athlete (surprise!). No scout from the Women's Over-50 U.S. Olympic Cycling Team discovered me as someone to groom for the team . I only lost twelve pounds -- I still have eight to go. I was not approached by "Midlife Muscle Magazine" for an interview. But I didn't need THOSE outcomes to justify my participation. The DOING was its own justification. I cannot begin to tell you how much I learned from the process, and what a great thrill it was to finish that ride!
I strongly, even zealously encourage you to honor what you are
longing to do. Allow yourself to engage in the pursuits that compel you. Let yourself be ". . . quietly drawn by the deeper pull of what you truly love," as the 13th century mystic poet Rumi said.
COACHING TIPS
1. Where do YOU "feel yourself quietly drawn by the deeper pull of what you truly love" or might love?
2. Do you have resistance to doing what you are drawn to?
3. If so, give it voice and write down what it sounds like. This voice might sound something like:
a) You're not good enough at it (to merit spending time, money or focus on it)
b) There's no point to that activity.
c) Excuse me? You want to do WHAT?
d) You already have too many interests and dreams.
4. Write down responses to the objections you gave voice to in 3, above. They might sounds like this:
a) I'd like to get better at it
b) The value is in the doing of it, not in the result.
c) Yes, I want to...
d) Let's be creative about how this might be possible.
5. Get support from yourself and others to do it.
If you're considering hiring a coach to help you pursue your endeavors, contact me for an initial consultation at no charge.
Copyright 2003 Sharon Teitelbaum. All rights reserved.
Sharon Teitelbaum, http://www.stcoach.com, a Work-Life and Career Coach, works with high achieving women with young children, people at mid-career, and professionals seeking greater career satisfaction and work-life balance. She coaches by phone and in person in Boston. Her newsletter, Strategies For Change, offers practical tips for work-life success.
Getting Unstuck Without Coming Unglued: Restoring Work-Life Balance, Sharon's first book, was published in 2005.
A motivational speaker, Sharon also also delivers keynotes & workshops on work-life issues. Clients include Children’s Hospital Boston, SunLife Financial, Arnold Worldwide, and many parent and alumni groups. She's been featured in national publications including The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and Working Mother Magazine.
Married for 30 years, she is the mother of two amazing young women.
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