You can't expect to prevent negative feelings altogether. And you can't expect to experience positive feelings all the time. The Law of Emotional Choice directs us to acknowledge our feelings but also to refuse to get stuck in the negative ones. ~ Greg Anderson, American author

Chooser and choosee...run them through your word-processing program and you are likely to have them rejected by your spell-check.

Why? Because chooser, although in Webster’s Dictionary, is a seldom used term, and choosee is not even a word in our language. However, regardless of the validity and frequency of these words, the dynamics and pay-offs of you being either the chooser or the choosee are huge.

When you are the chooser you live a powerful life of choice. You know who you are, what is important, what is not allowed, and what is healthy. When you live by choice you never settle.

Whereas the choosee gives their power away and allows others to make their choices for them. Choosees settle and are often in very dependent relationships. Knowing and using three empowering dynamics of choice will give you the power to create and live the life of your choice.

The first dynamic is that of boundaries. When you know what is acceptable and what is not, you have clear boundaries. When you have clear boundaries, choice-making is easy because you know what does and does not work for you.

Assignment #1: Make a list of at least 10 “deal-breakers”, meaning 10 absolutely, positively unacceptable behaviors from others into your life. Then, live by these boundaries and make no exceptions…make powerful choices from your boundaries.

The next dynamic is values. Knowing what it is that is important to you is synonymous with knowing your values. When you live and choose in accordance with your values you live in integrity and wholeness.

Assignment #2: Make a list of what is most important in your life. Add these to your previous list of deal-breakers. Hold yourself accountable to live by these values and make choices from these values. In doing so, you will, again, find yourself making powerful choices.

The third and final dynamic is that of balance. When you live with a “balance attitude” you have an awareness of making healthy choices. Many health (both physical and emotional) issues are caused by a lack of balance. By choosing to have a life balance awareness, you live a powerful and healthy life.

Assignment #3: List 10 indicators of you being out of balance, and another 10 indicators of you being in balance. Add these items to your list from assignments #1 and #2. You have created your foundation of powerful choice...Live according to this and you will be a powerful chooser.

Boundaries, values, and balance…these are the essential cornerstones to your empowering choice-making life. Share your list with your life coach and your support system. Ask them to hold you accountable to it. Work it and refine it. Live by it…choose from it…and don’t leave home without it!!!

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!

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