Thanks to Saint Valentine this February is the month when love is in the air! But here's a thought for you. When did you last give yourself a Valentine?

This may seem strange, but anyone who knows true love will tell you that the more love you give the more you receive. This starts a beautiful circle of ever-increasing love which makes your skin glow, your energy levels rise and improves every area of your life.

Helen Miller, believes the way to start this circle is with self-love. This doesn't mean selfishness. It means taking time out to appreciate your qualities, skills and talents.

Helen runs a life coaching practice and explained, ‘Many of my clients benefit from this simple change to their approach to love’, she continued, ‘as many of us are brought up in families where it is considered selfish and rude to put yourself first, we can unwittingly limit the love we have to give. If you don't love yourself, you may feel that nobody else could find you lovable. At best this can make you doubt any expressions of love or compliments you receive. At worst, it can even make you dishearten those who want to love you and so the relationships fade.’

Self-love is not the same as selfishness. It is the ability to see all your good points and not continually focusing on your faults. It means looking into the mirror and seeing yourself as a person of great potential. When you can do this, you can look the world in the eye; you can give freely and project love out to others.

Some people find it easier to think of self-love as self-esteem. Every truly happy person has high self-esteem. This is not the same as arrogance or conceit; it is about enjoying, not playing down your positive qualities and allowing them to shine.

One of Helen’s clients, an extremely busy mother who was treated with little respect, found that once she was kind to herself and took a little time each week for the things she wanted to do, those around her also began to behave toward her more considerately. She then found she was willing to give her attention to them more freely and lovingly. Helen explains, ‘the process of increasing your self-awareness is simple, gradual and effective. The greatest pay-off is that once you have done it it is yours for life!’ When you become fully aware of all you can be, you can have all you truly want in life – and that includes love.

Helen offers the following points that you could ponder; If I asked your best friend to list your qualities and skills what would they say? What would you love to do as a treat to yourself? How can you give yourself love and self acceptance this week?

What do you need to do so you always feel loved?

Helen Miller, of Crossroads Life Coaching, is a qualified and experienced life coach working in the UK. She provides one to one coaching and also courses on how to become assertive and how to become more confident. To find out more visit http://www.crossroadslifecoaching.co.uk.

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