Marital relationships blossom when a husband and wife not only tolerate but also celebrate the differences between each other. People need different things in life. Beyond the basics, some people need extra portions of respect, others love, while some people cherish autonomy and independence, etc. Tolerance provides the opportunity for each individual within the relationship to get, without conflict, from their partner what he or she wants and needs.

Cooperating with your partner in his or her efforts to accomplish their unique physical, emotional, mental and spiritual goals creates a relationship imbued with peace and harmony. Individual goals certainly must be moral and ethical and not injure anyone. If they meet this simple criteria, it becomes the partner's privilege to support these goals in every reasonable way even to the point of self-sacrifice.

A selfless attitude brings with it not only peace and harmony but also creates feelings of being loved and cared for in your partner. When you both take a position of tolerance with each other, you will both feel as if you are receiving daily gifts of love. This will then generate affection and friendship.

Tolerance is the magic ingredient for getting along with your partner. You can help your partner behave with tolerance when you have low expectations. If you don't expect a lot, it is easier for him or her to give you what you need.

Lower your expectations of what you want from your spouse as much as possible. Try to figure out what is the minimum you can live with and still be happy. Be honest with yourself. Don't pretend to be righteous and say its ok if he gambles away the weekly pay check at the race track or its ok if she socializes with other men. A relationship has certain basic requirements that cannot be compromised (is this the correct word for the meaning?). You can decide that it is ok if he won't do the homework with the kids or its ok if she doesn't always want to be intimate. Strive to look the other way or toss out a demand or expectation about your partner. For example, see if you can be happy even if he "won't wash dishes" or she "spends too much money."

Demand a little and give a lot. This good will can go a long way to create an atmosphere in the home of genuine peace and harmony.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is the publisher of Wisdom Scientific self-help educational programs. Abe is also a registered Social Worker, registered Marriage and Family Therapist, certified hypnotherapist and award winning educator. He concluded, after many years of clinical practice and research, that practical solutions requiring a focussed effort of no more than a few minutes a day for very specific personal and relationship problem were critically needed. Wisdom Scientific publishing house has been created to fill this need. For more information or a free e-bulletin, visit http://www.WisdomScientific.com

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