I’ve hated surprise parties ever since my mother threw me one for my sixteenth birthday—an age when the last thing you want to do is party with your mother and her friends. I never encourage visitors to drop by my house without calling first. And I would never allow the success of a dinner party I’m giving to be contingent upon what guests bring . . . or don’t. Call me a control freak (I prefer to use the term “Type A personality”), but I like things to run smoothly and as planned. I can’t help it. I was born Type A, all the way—driven to succeed, no matter what the challenge. Organized, productive, and reliable. Always in control. How great to be in complete control of my own destiny! Whether it was the next job I wanted or my next day’s outfit, I planned and executed each with the same intensity and drive. Like a hungry cheetah chasing a gazelle, there was nothing stopping me in my run from point A to point B.

Then life threw me a couple of unexpected curves, all outside of my control. That sense of security and control I had built my life upon was instantly proven nonexistent—a mirage between my mind and reality. It took awhile for me to figure out that there are scenes on this grand stage of life that are impromptu and uncontrollable. During those times, the only healthy thing to do is to give up control, and surrender.

Surrendering does not mean giving up your power. It’s more about asking the universe to come to your aid and trusting that it will. If you’re like me, maybe you need to hit a brick wall (or two) before you finally surrender that gripping hold you have on every outcome in your life. When my will is bruised and battered, I naturally loosen up the reigns of control, mainly because I have no energy left to fight. If you’re set on a particular goal and can only see one path to get there, you’re cheating yourself of happiness that can come in unexpected ways.

It is only when you surrender control of your life and of the lives of others that you truly become an empowered. That’s when you can believe in miracles, and dreams that come true with just a wish, not a plan.

Debbie Gisonni, aka The Goddess of Happiness™, is an author (The Goddess of Happiness: A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss and Vita’s Will: Real Life Lessons about Life Death & Moving On), speaker, happiness expert and columnist for iVillage.com. Contact: http://www.goddessofhappiness.com

Copyright, All Rights Reserved, Debbie Gisonni

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