Most of us make resolutions on a New Year’s Eve, because a new year is a mile marker of a lifetime and we want to be in control of our path while we travel on it. I used to make New Year’s resolutions every year, and sometimes not being able to carry them out, I ended up feeling discouraged and disappointed in myself.

The problem was, I set too high a goal to achieve and I expected too much of me. When I look back, I see that the younger and the more inexperienced I was, the grander were my goals. After stopping to make resolutions for a few years, I came across a workable way to handle my resolutions.

Most of us understand a New Year’s resolution to mean “firmness of purpose.” Now, there is nothing wrong in being firm in our purpose as long as we know we have the capacity to achieve what we set out for. Another thing is to be flexible and to remember not to beat on ourselves as if we have failed in everything totally, should life twist and turn and things do not go our way. After all, one goal unattained or one incomplete resolution is not a major loss in one’s entire lifetime.

* For a resolution to succeed, the first step is to intend on an attainable goal. Once you intend on what that goal will be, you must also intend not to blame yourself, should things not work out. Think of your resolution not as an obligation but something you want to do.

* Second step is to define the goal you are shooting for. Write down the resolution and why you want it. Then, find or devise a method or a system of achieving it. Separate it into small steps. Give each step a time period, still being flexible about it.

* Third, keep notes. As well as recording the steps you take and the difficulties you overcome, write down all the awards you receive and the nice things people say about you.

* Fourth, find a group of co-achievers to do it with and people who can support you along the way. Always ask for help if the going gets tough. Try to choose the right people. If those you have chosen turn out not to be of help to you, do not feel obliged to stick it out with them. There is always a way to let people down gently.

* If at any time while you are working at your goal, you feel discouraged, your efforts sag, or you run into a slump, take time off. Give yourself a tiny vacation to visualize or daydream about the result. See your achievement in color clearly as if it has already happened; smell it; taste it; hear it; feel it. Evaluate how much you have achieved up to that point and pat yourself on the back. Then get back to work.

May all your resolutions come to fruition in 2006.

Joy Cagil is an author on a site for Writers (http://www.Writing.Com/) Her education is in foreign languages and linguistics. Psychology, mental health, and visual arts are also in her background and training. Her portfolio can be found at http://www.Writing.Com/authors/joycag

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