Every year, and even sometimes throughout the year, we promise to make those changes in our lives that we think we need or that are good for us. Self improvement is a good thing. Resolutions are a good thing. When we look at ourselves honestly and find places to improve, we allow ourselves to grow and open up new opportunities. Too often, though, we get caught in the moment and make promises to ourselves and others that we really aren’t ready or able to keep. Its not always the right time for certain changes. We aren’t always ready for the next corner and perhaps we aren’t meant to get there quite yet.

Last year, I made several resolutions. I was going to make more friends, move on with my life, quit smoking, and lose that extra 10 (or is it 20?) pounds. On the surface, I kept none of those resolutions. I don’t have many more friends, I don’t have a new, exciting life, I didn’t quit smoking, and I weigh about the same as this time last year. But little is fully visible on the surface. I wasn’t ready to take on all those things and it wasn’t my time yet to achieve them. I didn’t fail. If I really look at the past year, I find many, many ways in which I moved myself in the direction of my resolutions.

I detached more from my old life, embraced more my new one, and took on a few small things that belong to me. I didn’t meet a new lifetime friend, but I made some new acquaintances and built a wonderful friendship with my children and my mother. I didn’t quit smoking, but I actually hate smoking for the first time in my life. I no longer see it as an escape and that brings me closer to a healthier lifestyle. And I didn’t lose that extra 10 (or is it 20?) pounds. I did maintain my weight and I have moved away from emotional eating. And most days, I feel pretty beautiful. So you see, I didn’t keep any my resolutions from last year. Instead, I listened to myself. I worked through things one day at a time. And as a result, I have grown something in me that will last a lifetime. I’ll meet all those resolutions and new ones to come – in time.

This year, give those resolutions some honest thought. Give yourself time to change. Know yourself and what you want first. You’ll get there. It may just not be as fast as you promised.

Heather Coulter is the Founder and President of The Femme Forum. The Femme Forum is an on-line membership based community of women offering information, resources, and one-on-one advice in the interest of empowerment, friendship, and personal growth. Please join us at http://www.thefemmeforum.com

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