Just when you have got used to the adage ‘less is more’, I come along and turn the whole philosophy on its head! This is because in order to be happy I believe more is less and here’s why;

One of the fundamental things MOST of us suffer from is a lack of self–belief at one level or another. So the less we believe in ourselves the more we suffer. The reverse is also true, the more we believe in ourselves the less we suffer. And when I say ‘suffer’ I mean really suffer! From lack of time with our families to work pressures and frustrations – and from relationship woes to feelings of anxiety due to self–consciousness…believe me, this is how women suffer! All of it is due to a lack of self–belief.

No matter what the symptoms, the cause is always the same. So how do we get more of what we want i.e. more time with our families, more loving relationships, more confidence and more energy? Additionally, how do we have less work stress, less anxiety, less frustrations and less guilt? Yes! That’s right! We need MORE self–belief!

If having more belief in oneself is the answer, then how can that be achieved easily and quickly? Here’s the thing, you can only achieve this…and I mean ONLY if you really want to make some changes in your life. Ask yourself, ‘Am I ready to make the commitment necessary to make some vast improvements in my life?’ You need to ask yourself this, and answer honestly because as women, we have a tricky and complex mind that can fool us into believing we want something but actually will trip us up later and will cause us fail.

The culprit is our subconscious mind. It has its own agenda when it comes to goals and changing habits because it doesn’t like to make changes at all…it likes what it knows and wants to stay where it is comfortable and familiar. But because it is our subconscious mind, we are not always aware of its hidden agenda.

Does this sound familiar to you?! Have you ever tried to diet or exercise or read more for example, or keep a New Year’s resolution? Did it fail after a while? Do you know why it failed? The bet is that your subconscious had a lot to do with it.

So how do we make sure our subconscious mind does not sabotage our future efforts? Yes! That’s right! We need MORE self–belief! If you have few negative thoughts or beliefs about yourself, your subconscious mind has no reason to sabotage your success. Therein lies the vicious circle…you need more self–belief to be committed to make the necessary changes and you need more self–belief to ensure you do not sabotage your own efforts!

So where and how do we begin? There are amazing exercises and a system for doing this is my book 'The Happiness System for Women', but for this article I shall get you started by asking you to complete the following questions;

1. What do I need right now to help me get more of what I want in life?

2. Who or what can help me achieve that?

3. What is the main thing that is holding me back?

4. Who or what can help me overcome this?

5. What do I intend to change or improve in my life today?

6. Is their anything missing that can help me move forward?

7. What is my overall intention when it comes to my personal life?

8. What is my overall intention when it comes to my work life?

9. How to do I intend to be successful with these intentions?

10. What or who can help me achieve these quickly and effectively?

Answer these questions as fully and as honestly as you can. Also do not be afraid of getting the assistance or guidance you need in life and be aware of the areas that require a little helping hand.

Next let's look at how to get what you want. If you answered the 10 questions about getting what you want above then get ready to move beyond thinking and into action.

Now you should have a good idea of how you can get what you want in life both personally and professionally without any obstacles and with an appropriate support structure.

So what’s next? How do you turn an intention into action? It’s all about making that first step. You do not want to become overwhelmed with your intentions. Stay in charge of your development by breaking things done into easy-to-handle bite-size pieces.

First you need to decide which area needs your attention first…your personal life or your professional one? Which ones seems the most urgent to you right now? Once you have chosen your area of focus, choose one goal or intention within it.

Now you have the first area of development ready for action! Write out your intention or goal clearly and concisely. It is always important to include a deadline when you have a purpose so write down a date by which you want this to be real, an actual part of your life. Work backwards from that date to today. Now what is the very first thing you have to do today to move you forward enough so that you are on track with your goal’s time line? Do this for each day so that you have planned each move you make right up to the end date. Once you have done this you have pretty much achieved your goal in your mind at least. Think about the day you have achieved your goal as if it had already happened. Answer the following questions:

1. What does it feel like?

2. Who or what is around you?

3. Where are you?

4. What do you hear?

5. What do you smell?

Make the experience as real as possible. Use all your senses, imagination and creativity so you really ‘see’ it. When you have a clear vision of your intention being realized then you are using your sub-conscious mind power to help you achieve it instead of it working against you. Seeing your goal come to its fruition will give you the added confidence and competence to help you achieve it for real.

At any time you fail to achieve one of your intentions, think about whether you sabotaged yourself at all. Nine times out of ten you will realize that it was you who stopped yourself from achieving what you wanted for whatever reason…and underneath that reason is a lack of self-belief. Here is an exercise to help you improve your self-belief:

1) Be confident that the end result is possible.

Has someone else achieved this goal? If so then it must be possible List 5 people who have achieved or are currently achieving this or a similar goal. The more similar they are to you and your current position the better. If no-one has achieved your goal yet, list 5 things which people have achieved which are similar in some way to your goal, or which can be a source of inspiration to you. As soon as you can say with total conviction ‘it really is possible to achieve this goal’ it’s time to move on to step 2. If you can't do this yet, look for more examples of people achieving amazing feats and overcoming overwhelming odds and add them to your list until you do believe your goal is possible.

2) Believe that the end result is possible by you.

Remember what you have achieved in the past – surely you have the necessary skills and abilities to do this too? If not, where can you get them?

3) Really want the end result

Ask yourself now - do you really want to achieve this goal - or is it just nice to have? Make a list of how achieving this goal would benefit your life and the life of others.

4) Believe that you deserve the end result.

Do you feel you deserve to achieve your goal? If you don’t then you will sabotage your own efforts.

5) Achieving your end goal must not contradict any other beliefs or values you have

Is there anything which doesn’t seem right? Are there any values which you are contradicting? Is there anything or anyone in your life that you are neglecting? Do you feel totally right about achieving this goal?

If the answer to any one of these questions is yes, change the vision of your end result so that it fits in with your beliefs, and what is right for you. Make it so that it feels just right. But make sure that they are not just excuses for you not going ahead with your goal.

Finally…

Include a review of progress at key points along the way so you can learn from your experiences.

Know that you do not have to know all the steps now. The future is uncertain so it is not always possible to plan everything. Plan what you can for the moment, and then make a new plan once those steps have been taken. If you continue to do this, and learn from your experience you are likely to achieve your goal in the end.

Alexandra Watson has helped countless women create happy and fulfilling lives through her happiness system. She has developed a fool-proof, easy-to-follow seven step system to happiness that any woman can use and see results fast. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus calls Alexandra's book The Happiness System for Women 'a vibrant and exciting journey to the centre of your soul'. Alexandra has featured internationally on TV, radio and in many publications. She can be contacted by email on: HappinessAuthor@aol.com or visit her website at http://www.AlexandraWatson.com

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