How do you know if you are done with the past?

How do you know if there are still old wounds, hurts and/or resentments that are still festering beneath the surface?

The answer is twofold. First, if you keep repeating the same self-limiting or self-sabotaging behavior over and over, that could very well be an indicator of unfinished business.

Second, if you find yourself telling the same “they treated me so badly” stories from the past over and over, then that too could be an indicator. It would be of great benefit in any case to do an “unfinished business inventory”.

Go back over your life and identify any times in which you believe you were treated poorly, hurt, felt abandoned and /or abused.

Is there any emotional charge still remaining when you bring up those situations in your mind?

If so, then you most likely have some work to do to get complete.

And then what do you do next? Read on...

Write a letter to the person. This letter needs to have the emotions that you feel in it, so let it flow spontaneously without doing any censoring. Take as much time as you need with it and you may want to leave it “open”, meaning that you write over the course of a week or two.

Then create a releasing ceremony in which you let go of these past hurts. I like to burn what I have written with some sage over an outside grill. Whatever your spiritual preference is, make you include that as you do this ceremony.

If you find that you have some additional feelings from the same incident come up later, just simply repeat the process as necessary.

Once you are free from the past you can more effectively step into the present and the future. Get complete and enjoy your life even more so!

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!

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