Self Improvement > Inspirational > Loss Part Three: How Can We Heal from Loss?
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Fritz Brunner
How Can We Heal From Loss?
Part Three on Loss
“There is no real way to deal with everything you lose.”
Joan Didion, from an interview in the San Francisco Chronicle, January 6, 2004.
My view of loss looks at four areas.
People: Spouse or partner, a child or parent, a long time friend. It may be a single loss or the build up of losses over time.
Place: Your place of comfort – of home.
Things & Roles: Possessions treasured for the memories they hold; things we associate with people we love. We also lose our roles and jobs.
Self: This may be a feeling of having no purpose, or it may be a feeling that you missed something that would have led to happiness. We also lose our self in a direct way as we age. And for some we lose aspects of ourselves prematurely to disease.
How are we affected?
I see four principle ways or areas of impact.
Physically: We neglect our self; we care less about and for our physical well-being. Disease and age also produce loss within and upon our bodies.
Emotionally: We may withdraw from other. We may lash out.
Mentally: We may deaden our mind and avoid thinking or
remembering in any number of ways. Our thoughts may turn negative, always seeing more loss in the future.
Spiritually: There may be a drawing away from beliefs long held or there may be a desire to find a new belief.
Will everyone respond the same way to loss? No, however most of us will respond in some negative or self defeating way for some period of time.
New tactics
How do you make a shift to heal from loss? How can you re-start your life? Here are a few suggestions.
1) Take time to look closely at your situation. Assess your response to the particular loss. What are you feeling right now as you consider this? What are you doing differently now or not doing? If you are looking at life-long loss; then try to look at how this has affected your actions and thinking.
2) Take time to think about how you would want your life to be different. Changes you want to see in the future. What would a re-started life look like? Make a list. Be specific. Do it now.
© Fritz M. Brunner, Ph.D. 2005
Fritz M. Brunner, Ph.D. is a coach and consultant engaged in working with people wanting to excel in life and business. He also leads tele-groups focused on loss. Please visit his web site at http://www.fmbrunner.com or contact him at fritz@fmbrunner.com
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