Wouldn’t it be great if every time you did something nice for someone, they would do something nice for someone else? Just imagine the ripple effect this could cause.

This is not a new idea. Many people have tried to push the ripples of kindness all over the planet. A prime example, in the movie “Pay it Forward” a little boy decides to do nice things and asked people to do good for others. Also, there are many websites asking people to commit random acts of kindness and then ask the recipient to do something nice for someone else.

It is a great idea.

Recently, I had a number of small cards printed. On the front, Tag! You’re “It”. On the reverse is states “Now, it’s your turn. Do something good for someone else and give them this card. PASS IT ON”

Of course, I was very impressed with myself. I couldn’t tell enough people about what a terrific person I am. Note: there’s a little known personality disorder that I call “Admiration Addiction.” This addiction causes people to dream up more and more ways to impress others with their saintly acts.

How do you tell if you’re a victim of Admiration Addiction?

In my case, it was through these little business cards. Generally, when anyone on the street asks me for money, I give freely. I’ve always felt that gifts of this nature come back to you 10-fold and you really don’t have to be concerned with how the recipient is going to spend the money. If you don’t worry about what the money is used for then, I believe, that’s a sign of unconditional giving—which is something I continue to strive for.

So, now armed with my new little cards I was ready for the street people. I couldn’t wait for the next person to ask me for money. Finally, at the gas station—my first victim. When he asked for money, I handed him a couple of dollars and my new little card.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“It’s just a reminder that when you receive an act of kindness you should do something nice for someone else,” I told him imagining the halo hanging above my head.

“Is this a church thing?” he asked.

“No, no, no, I just thought you would want to do something nice for someone else.” I re-emphasized.

“Um, okay,” he said as he walked away.

I just stood there dumbfounded. How could he possibly miss the fact that I was acting in such a god-like way? Where was his admiration of me? Where was his gratitude?

Before I turned to go along my way, I noticed he threw the little card in the trash.

Well, that was it for me. No more unconditional giving on my part. If people can’t be grateful for all the good things I do, then no more. I won’t be pushed around like this.

Admiration Addiction—pure and simple.

It took me a few days to realize how ridiculous I had become. In all my effort to be unconditional I had found a very clever way to insist people act in the way I thought they should. You see, that little card wasn’t a request, I was making a demand for people to do things as I ordered. There’s nothing unconditional about that.

Well, I learned my lesson and I now remember acts of kindness must come from the heart, not the ego. I still give the little card when I give money, or do something nice for others, but I no longer expect them to do anything in return. It is merely a suggestion. And, along with it goes my hope that what I do will make a difference.

Even if what I do doesn’t make a difference, I’ll still do it.

This unconditional thing is tough stuff--but, it’s worth it.

David Zack Holmes is a syndicated writer sharing his personal experiences with a southern flair. To read more features see: http://www.davidzackholmes.com

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