"A complete life may be one ending in so full an identification with the nonself that there is no self left to die."-Bernard Berenson

Our local newspaper ran an article over several days that was titled: "What Price Prosperity?" In the article, one of the surrounding counties was listed as having the highest average income, the highest average home price while at the same time having the largest number of bankruptcies and foreclosures. The premise of the article was that often we are driven to maintain a certain self-image which can lead to over-extending our finances. The article went onto say that sometimes a person is so identified with where they live or what they own that it is difficult to let go of these things even if their financial picture changes.

The writer of the article interviewed one man who had recently lost his job and was embarrassed to be driving a Volvo instead of a Mercedes. He told the columnist that he did not want his friends to see him driving a less expensive car. This man believes his identity comes from objects, what Deepak Chopra refers to as "object-referral" in his book - The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

To quote Chopra: "In object-referral, your internal reference point is your ego. The ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; ...your social mask; ..the role you are playing." This ego or social mask thrives on approval; it needs to be in control because it lives in fear of being less than. Your true SELF (spirit/soul) on the other hand feels neither beneath or superior to anyone, because it sees everyone's true identity as the same.

If your identity comes from a title, a position, the size of your home, or the amount of your possessions, then this is false power or identity. This object-referred identity lasts only as long as the object is there. What happens when the title, position or possesions go away? Does that mean your identity goes away? NO! Because your true SELF never changes. Your true SELF is permanent, fearless and naturally loving. When your identity is SELF-referred, (coming from your true being), then you are a magnet effortlessly attracting people, events, and support to manifest your desires and purpose. There is no struggle to maintain objects or possessions.

What do you currently see as the source of your identity? Are you concerned that people will not like you or think you don't "belong" if you do not wear the "right clothes" or drive the "right car"? Ask yourself: "If I suddenly lost my job or possesions, who would I be? Who am I right now and what is my purpose?" Take time to contemplate these questions and spend time in silence every day - it's the best way to get to know your true SELF!

Copyright- Vicki Miller / October 2005

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and to prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute telephone coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com.

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