Side conversations ruin meetings by destroying focus and fragmenting participation.

Approach 1: Ask for cooperation

Start by asking everyone to cooperate. Look at the middle of the group (instead of at the talker) and say:

"Excuse me (pause to gain everyone's attention). I know all of your ideas are important. So, please let's have one speaker at a time."

"Excuse me. I'm having difficulty hearing what [contributing participant] is saying."

"There seems to be a great deal of interest for this issue. Could we have just one speaker at a time?"

These statements diplomatically acknowledge that a side conversation is occurring without naming the participants or putting them on the spot. Hostile statements, such as: "Hey you! Stop that!" will create hard feelings that undermine your effectiveness as a leader.

Approach 2: Change the process

If side conversations continue, change the rules to make cooperation more convenient. For example, you could use a speaking prop.

A speaking prop is an object that entitles the holder to speak. When the person finishes speaking, the prop is passed on to the next person who wants to speak. Possible props include

Introduce the new process by saying:

"We seem to have a lot of enthusiasm for this issue. So, let's decide that only the person holding the gavel (cup, teddy bear, foam ball) may speak. Is that okay?"

Notice this statement begins with a complimentary acknowledgment of the situation (multiple conversations) followed by a suggestion and ends with a request for cooperation.

Use these techniques to regain control of your meeting.

This is the second of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings.

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IAF Certified Professional Facilitator and author Steve Kaye works with leaders who want to hold effective meeting. His innovative workshops have informed and inspired people nationwide. His facilitation produces results that people will support. Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.stevekaye.com. Call 714 -528-1300 or visit his web site for over 100 pages of valuable ideas.

• Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 7, Personal Attacks


• Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 6, Deadlocked Discussions


• Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 5, Dominant Participants


• Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 4, Quiet Participants


• Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 3, Drifting From the Topic


• Five Things Smart Leaders Do to Lower The Barriers To Change


• Develop a We Focus And Not a Me Focus


• A Call to Men to Live a Strenuous Life!


• The Six Essential Leadership Attributes


• The Essence of Leadership


• The Personality of Leadership


• From Failure To Victory; The Cats Out Of The Bag!


• Five Surprisingly Hip Politicial Ideas From Plato


• Leading In The Face Of Disaster


• Would Socrates Be A Celebrity Today?