We often associate innocence with young children—those who are pure and uncorrupted, blameless of any wrongdoing, incapable of feeling guilt. When we use innocence to describe an adult, however, it’s meaning changes to someone who is clueless, uninformed, ignorant or unsophisticated. Why is that? Do only children have the right to be innocent? Today even that right seems to be taken away as we rush our children into schools immediately after toilet training, expect them to speak like adults, compete in sports, excel in academics and behave responsibly as an adult would—all because these are the ways we define success in our society.

A friend of mine had to ask her teenage son to leave and live with his father because his behavior had become abusive and detrimental to her, his brother and step siblings. He and his stepfather were constantly at each other’s throats causing more tension in an already volatile household. For the safety and sanity of everyone involved, it was best that he stayed a few miles away with his real father. Ever since her son left, my friend’s emotional and physical state has deteriorated as she agonizes daily about her decision and her guilt over making her son leave even though she knows it’s the best situation for all concerned, including herself. Society tells her that a “responsible” mother would not let her son go, and therefore she blames herself. There is another way she could choose to look at her decision. Her son is now with his father in a quiet, safe household. He is getting all the attention he needs in addition to his own space and many privileges he did not have at home. He continues to go to the same school, and she is able to see him anytime. In addition, the tension in her own home has been reduced. The siblings are getting along better, and she’s not constantly playing referee between her current husband and her son. If she concentrated on all these benefits, she would not

The emphasis on being a responsible adult is sometimes highly overrated. While being carefree often gets a bum rap. The dictionary defines carefree as having “no worries or responsibilities”. I’d rather define it as “freeing your worries from your mind” If responsibility results in guilt over things you can’t or shouldn’t change, then you are being irresponsible—to yourself. Guilt is an unnecessary burden to your life that’s akin to carrying around a second head on your shoulders that devours all your positive energy. Leaving guilt behind lightens your heart and soul. It allows you to live in the present and move forward in life. It allows your true goodness to shine brightly, without being hidden behind a veil of darkness.

Innocence is a Goddess’s natural state. It is how you are born. (Clearly I don’t believe in the original sin theory.) It is you without the burden of guilt about things you said or didn’t say, did or didn’t do. (Women seem to worry a lot about that stuff.) I don’t believe any higher power ever intended us to have such man-made, manufactured guilt that lingers on and on. Remorse for a wrong doing, maybe, but even that is meant to be followed by self-forgiveness, so that we can move on with our life. Being innocent is not ignorant. It is knowing all there is to know at this very moment.

5 Ways to Give Up Guilt:

• Keep your thoughts and actions focused on the present moment.

• Bury your regrets; nothing can change the past.

• Have a conversation with a three-year-old.

• Don’t do or say anything out of guilt.

• Forgive and forget at all times.

Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss

Debbie Gisonni, aka The Goddess of Happiness™, is an author (The Goddess of Happiness: A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss and Vita’s Will: Real Life Lessons about Life Death & Moving On), speaker, happiness expert and columnist for iVillage.com. Contact: http://www.goddessofhappiness.com

Copyright, All Rights Reserved, Debbie Gisonni

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