Do any of these statements sound familiar?

·“I can’t find a decent man”

·“ I can’t lose this weight”

·“ I can’t get that promotion/raise/job”

Well here is some news for you…you can find a decent man, you can lose the weight and you can get that promotion/raise/job. Let me tell you a secret: You can make your life go wherever you want it to.

What you desire is attainable, but there are particular obstacles in the middle that are preventing you from reaching this desire, right now. These obstacles are your beliefs; more simply put, you are your own obstacle right now. I am referring to the way you view your life choices, those prescribed beliefs that you carry with you each day and allow to influence your decisions and behavior.

We were not born with beliefs. They are a matter of choice. Through our upbringing, culture, peers and experiences, we have each formulated a belief system. Woman, in general, are usually told they “can’t” do this or they “can’t” do that. As children we were not meant to play soccer, dirty our dresses in the mud or bite our nails. Today we should not expect a higher salary than our male colleagues, make the first move on guys without fear of looking desperate or physically fight, as it is not ‘ladylike’. By being reared with a criteria already prepared by our conditioned society, it can be difficult not to continue with an “I can’t” mindset.

However, just like your past beliefs in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy viewpoints can alter. By changing your perceptions you are on the road to changing your behavior, which inevitably leads to changes in your life – relationships, body, career and whatever else you desire.

Change starts by shifting your perception. Bad thoughts such as not believing that you can complete an aim will cause feelings of sadness, depression, embarrassment, and low self-esteem. These negative thoughts and emotions lead to negative actions. For example, weight loss, you make excuses to avoid any form of exercise then feel self-pity, as you dislike your current weight. You increase snacking to comfort these emotions and finally you find yourself uttering the words “I just can’t lose this weight”.

Negative Thoughts = Negative Emotions = Negative Actions = Negative Results

Try these tips to start the change you want to see:

·YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF “I CAN’T”

When you say “I can’t” you are already setting up an

·BE DARING

Do not just believe “I can”; also set yourself challenging targets. Demanding goals require effort and effort leads to development. Always be realistic, but never undermine your strengths.

·BELIEVE IN YOUR VIEWPOINT

You must 100% believe in what you are saying to be successful. You need to consciously be aware of what you want to achieve. A good idea is to try positive affirmations, for example, say to yourself each day “I can get that promotion at work”, “I can lose weight for the Christmas party”.

·OBSTACLES ARE OPPORTUNITIES

It is the obstacles in life that build up our experiences and it is through our experiences that we can learn more about ourselves. Do not shy away from “obstacles” but instead tell yourself it is an opportunity. It may be an opportunity to learn from or to pass on your own skills to somebody else.

·BE AWARE OF YOUR STRENGTHS

We are so quick to notice default but slow to relish the good in ourselves. Make a list of your accomplishments and talents. Now review your list at least once a day and remind yourself of what you CAN achieve.

·GOODBYE NEGATIVITY

Rid your environment of negative vibes. For some people this leads to re-evaluating relationships in their lives. Are you surrounded by encouraging, supportive and loving people? Or is there always a critical voice demeaning your efforts? Being in a productive environment is essential to human growth. You want people that have removed “I can’t” from their vocabulary too! After all positive energy breeds positive energy.

Change your thought path towards all things optimistic and believe that you can and will reach the life you desire. Do not underestimate how powerful you are in creating the person that you want to be – get rid of your negative beliefs and embrace the positive…it is now that real change can happen.

Kerry Bannigan is a Personal Life Coach in New York City. She specializes in adult children of divorce, relationship, career and weight loss coaching. Kerry Bannigan Life Coaching motivates you to step outside of society’s conditioned environments, encourages you to express your own core values and challenges you to step on the path to your desired destiny. http://www.kerrybannigan.com

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