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Self Improvement > Positive Attitude > Sticks and Stones
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Audrey Lizee
“…May break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Oh yeah? Says who? Words can hurt and they do. So why is it that so many of us grew up saying this old rhyme like it was gospel? As children, we may have said it because it was the best form of defense we had at the time, but very likely it was another notch in the lack of self-esteem belt.
In a recent conversation or two lately, this old phrase came up while someone was sharing a negative situation where words cut deeply and hurt. This got me thinking more seriously about the context and content of this phrase. How much further from a truth could an old saying be? ‘Words’ are what make us human and hold society together. In the ocean of words we have been blessed with as humans it is difficult to comprehend why a person would chose to speak to another human in an abusive or hurtful manner. Words can affect us all for the rest of our lives and once spoken, there is no taking them back. They have the power to lift or put down, to inspire or discourage, to help or offend, to show love or hate, to laugh by or cry by, and the list goes on.
No matter what I have read or discussed on this subject, the word that pops up most often is “affirmation.” Affirm means ‘looking for, finding the good and bringing out the best in others.’ Affirming words inspire; loving/affectionate words build and heal relationships; gracious words create respect and gratitude; gentle words teach kindness; supportive words boost morale; funny words cause laughter which is good medicine for everyone and encouraging words enhance performance. In a nutshell, everything we say can be life changing, positively or negatively speaking.
There are the 5 “A’s” that would encourage, enrich and motivate us as humans. They are, acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval and attention. But on the other end of that scale are the 6-pack of destruction; degrading, derisive, destructive, derogatory, displeasing and disapproving. Often times it is not so much what is said but the tone it was said that hurts. Pondering this whole thing I started questioning the when’s and the why’s of change in communication. Why is there
less respect, why do children seem to be losing manners, why do teens sometimes seem more disrespectful to their parents, why is there more rudeness and foul language and when will it ever change? One can only speculate that change started back in the sixties, when the Vietnam war started, along with the civil rights movement, the start of ‘free-speech’ or the ‘filthy speech movement’, when people became unsettled and angry but were encouraged to just let it all hang out. Maybe this mindset has filtered down over the generations. TV and Internet have also been very influential in this generation’s mannerisms.
Whatever the case may be, I am sure of one thing. We cannot change the past, whether we have said the hurtful words or been victims of them, but we can chose what we want to be in the future. It is all about being aware of the impact our words can have on those around us. They say that what we speak is a reflection of what is in our hearts so maybe we can start by looking within ourselves with our mind’s eye in solitude, in the presence of our Higher Power to see what kind of person is there. Is that who I want to be? Do I love myself enough to not be affected by others negativity? Do I speak to others as I would like them to speak to me? Do I think before I speak? Do I choose affirming words? I heard a quote this week saying “all achievements of the human race started with an idea in someone’s head that was thinking possibilities, not obstacles.” (‘Possibility’ is a very affirming word). Or how about this one by J.F. Kennedy; “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
A friend of mine always says, ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’ so what better time for me to say, “Just for Today”, “I Will Let it Begin With Me”! If I could, I would start by changing this old rhyme to sound something like this:
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but they in time will heal,
Words can hurt much deeper though, when it is my spirit they steal.
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