Ok, I admit it. There are situations in life when I just want to scream. There are times that I’m just so frustrated and stressed out that all I can do is think about how frustrated and stressed out I am. When I want to crawl in bed and not wake up until the situation has cleared itself up and I can get on with my life.

When we are dealing with stressful situations or frustrating circumstances, it’s easy to tell yourself that it’s not your fault these things are happening to you. It’s easy to complain about how tough life is, and how you wish things were different.

Wouldn’t it be freeing to know that there is something that you can do about these types of situations? Wouldn’t it be amazing if in a matter of seconds, you could turn things around and start changing these frustrating circumstances?

There is a way. It’s called being accountable for your circumstances.

There are two steps to being accountable. Recognizing when your in victim mode, and then taking action to change your circumstances.

Let’s define accountability. Accountability is being answerable for one’s behavior. The opposite of accountability is victim behavior.

When you are in victim mode, life happens to you. You feel you have no control over your circumstances and you may feel frustrated because things never seem to get better. You find yourself constantly complaining about the world around you – how it’s not meeting your expectations.

Think about an area of your life where you feel things aren’t going the way you had hoped. Now, ask yourself this “what action can I take right now that put the control in my hands?” One thing you can immediately do is recognize that while certain unpleasant, and frustrating things happen in life, you always have the ability to take matters into your own hands and create better circumstances.

For example, are you stuck in a job that is stressful and depressing? Do you dread going into work each day? Are you constantly complaining about how awful your boss is, how unfulfilling your work is and how there is no way out? These are all behaviors of the victim. In order to get out of victim mode, ask yourself that simple question: What action can I take, right now that will put control in my hands?

Immediately, you will feel the frustration and stress ease, because you will realize that things do not have to stay the way they are. You can make changes, and you can control the situation.

The next step is taking action. Continuing to stay stuck in a bad situation will only bring you more of the same circumstances. At first, you may only be able to identify small changes that you can make. But, with every action, you come closer to making big changes to your situation.

We all fall into victim behavior from time to time. And sometimes, we stay stuck there longer than we would like to admit. When you recognize that you are in victim behavior, just ask yourself What can I do to change this situation and make it better? And then, take action and take control!

Jenn Givler is a career and life coach who teaches people how to be empowered and change their lives. Find out how to get her free e-book Be Empowered! http://www.jgivler.com/books.htm

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