For years, the media has led the charge on the importance of balancing work, life and family, particularly for women who are still the main caretakers of the house and family, regardless of whether they work outside the home or not. I was convinced that I had it all under control. Working in the high paced, high stress world of high tech, climbing the corporate ladder of success, I still managed to eat healthy, exercise daily, entertain friends, remember birthdays and take vacations. Then when my family started to fall apart due to illness and death, I successfully lived two separate lives with the skill of a juggler watching one ball in the air and one in the hand. One life was in and out of corporate boardrooms doing business presentations, and the other was in and out of hospital rooms dealing with doctors.

I certainly felt capable of gracefully handling it all—just like the famous women I read about in the media. Kelly Ripa has a loving marriage with a handsome hubby, three kids and two daily TV gigs—one as a talk show host and one as a soap opera actress and then sitcom star. Maria Shriver is a dedicated wife to a famous actor and an involved mother to four children along with her duties as a TV reporter (until she replaced that job with being the first lady to the Governor of California—husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger), a best-selling author and one of Oprah’s best friends (I’m sure that comes with a lot of time and commitment).

Although most of us are not famous, many people with and without children, like Kelly and Maria, look as though they effortlessly achieved what most women strive for their entire lives—balance. But this isn’t reality.. After all, in her book, Ten Things I Wish I’d Known—Before I Went Out into the Real World, Maria Shriver states that Superwoman is dead, and we can’t do it all. The only thing balanced is an equal amount of daily stress we experience with work and family life. We continually feed our egos with finished lists, job kudos, or the perfect home and hearth. But, the more our egos get fed, the more busy our lives may seem the more our spirits are starved.

For me, the symptoms of a depleted spirit became harder to ignore: my health started to suffer, and my mind started to wander, I walked away at the peak of my career. I did not consult part-time. I did not take another job. (I did not pass GO and collect $200!) There was no middle ground that would get my equilibrium back. I was too far out, like a fishing line tangled in a bed of muddied seaweed. The only solution was to cut the line and start over. That’s when I embarked on a whole new life and work journey that was truly balanced—nurturing my body, mind and spirit...and a lot of other women.

My friend Susan runs her own communications business out of her home with a handful of employees, while also raising five girls, ages three--fourteen. Her job and clients are demanding and time-consuming, so in order to give her family equal time, she utilizes her excellent management skills and applies them to her home life. She specifically carves out dedicated time on her calendar to spend with individual children or for family activities. Whether it’s taking a knitting class with one of her girls or planning a family trip with the whole gang, she makes it part of her everyday schedule. If she were to wait until her work is over (which it never is), there would be no time left to spend with the family she loves.

Companies will be bought and sold. Work will come and go. This is the temporary nature of the world in which we live. You must remember that who you are in life is not what you do for a living. The key to balance in life is creating harmony between our spirit, which is eternal, and our physical life, which is finite. When you nurture the Goddess within you (your spirit), you will easily and willingly balance, prioritize and share your life.

5 Ways to Find the Balance:

• Take up a hobby that has nothing to do with your job.

• Feed your spirit regularly—meditate, get a massage, exercise, write, paint, sing.

• Don’t be connected to work twenty-four hours a day, just because you can.

• Socialize with people outside of work, including family, friends and pets!

• Never miss, postpone or cancel vacation time.

Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss

Debbie Gisonni, aka The Goddess of Happiness™, is an author (The Goddess of Happiness: A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss and Vita’s Will: Real Life Lessons about Life Death & Moving On), speaker, happiness expert and columnist for iVillage.com. Contact: http://www.goddessofhappiness.com

Copyright, All Rights Reserved, Debbie Gisonni

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