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Womens Interests > Some Women Have It., Some Dont
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Article rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Author : Peggy Butler
Edgy commentary with emphasis on why respect is earned, not demanded.
*Loraine Osgood glanced at the friends seated across the
table and sighed inwardly, as another man gave her the
brush off for the umpteenth time. Looking around the room
she wondered why the men were deliberately ignoring her.
"Stupid jerks," she whispered. "Those idiots won't give me
the time of day. What's up with that?" she said, fingering
the buttons of her dress.
Five drinks later Loraine made a beehive to the restroom,
where she bumped into a man she had spotted earlier. "Aw,
don't you men know the meaning of respect?" she asked,
slurring her words. Caught off guard by the question, the
man muttered "Do you?" After a long pause Loraine walked
away without answering.
When Aretha Franklin clamored for R-E-S-P-E-C-T in 1967, men
suddenly became aware of how they treated women. And 38
years and a thousand arguments later, women are still
calling on men to respect them. Only now the rules have
changed, and the only way women can get members of the
opposite sex to hold them in high esteem, is by process of
elimination. That simply means respect is earned, not
automatically given as many women believe.
For example, ever notice that some women get the Hey Baby
treatment while others receive the Ms. or Miss salutation
regardless of age or race? In coming to grips with this
issue, I'm convinced that when it comes to the "fairer
sex," men are more apt to admire women who are confident and
carry themselves in a way that screams I RESPECT MYSELF.
As a woman I can easily tell if another woman respects
herself, based on the way she talks, acts and dresses. If
she feels she is worthy of distinction, no words are
necessary, since her image speaks for itself. If on the
other hand she is loud, disruptive and sloppy in
appearance, a man's opinion of her will take a dramatic
nose dive.
Two contrasting examples of respect ideology are
talk-show mogul Oprah Wimfrey and media poacher Paris
Hilton. In one corner you have Oprah, oozing class and
intellectual prowess, while reminding everyone why she is
one of the world's most influential women. In the
adjacent corner is Paris; shallow, eager to display her
body at every opportunity and hell bent on keeping her
name in the
press, at any and all cost. Now, realistically,
who is more respected? Oprah who carries herself like a
billionaire empress? Or Paris who associates braziness
with style and class?
In writing this editorial, I am reminded of something a
dear friend, Steve Lockett, once said. A man of impeccable
taste whose ability to sense trouble is without peer,
"Tale-tell Steve" is a purist in every sense of the
word. Not one to sugar coat words, when Steve talks,
everybody listens. So it came as no surprise when he said
that there are two types of women, the ones a man is
proud to be seen with and respects. And the other is the
woman who doesn't feel worthy of respect, so men tend to
discard her like day old bread. Not surprisingly, some
readers may view Steve's comments as those of a male
chauvinist from a bygone era, but there is a tinge of truth
in his verbal tirade.
Clearly, it's hard to respect someone who doesn't think
much of themselves. Granted, this applies to either sex,
but since we're talking about women we will limit our
conversation to that gender. Okay back to the article. To
reiterate, if a woman feels that she is a hapless zero,
why should anyone respect her, when she doesn't respect
herself? To paraphrase Steve, it just goes to show you
that some women have it and some don't.
Lastly, as women let's remind ourselves that if you feel
you are not getting the respect you deserve, take a long
hard look at yourself and ask yourself the following
questions: Are you acting, talking, dressing and behaving in
a way that commands respect? Or does your entire demeanor
cry out "DON'T CARE" "DON'T WANNA CARE" and "AIN'T
NEVER GONNA CARE?" The choice is yours.
* Not her real name
A freelance writer since 1989,Peggy Butler has written for
various magazines and Internet publications including
Impact Press, Africana.com., TimBook Tu, and The Black
World Today. Moreover, Butler who lists collecting 60s
memorabilia among her hobbies, writes news, features,
sports and entertainment articles, as well as commentaries
and humor pieces.
Currently, she is a contributor for theblackmarket.com and
author of the book "My Head is Bloody, But Unbowed" a
candidly raw collection of 40 commentaries symbolizing
African-American culture, with topics ranging from color
consciousness to Black-on-Black violence. Visit her website
at: http://www.Psbwrite.com
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