Moods Will Get You and Get to You - Every time

Can you truly be yourself in an online writing community? Really?

I’m finding that it’s the assumption that most people are like me that gets me into trouble. That they know what I mean, we're on the same page, so to speak. What I might consider harmless fun or discussion may offend someone else. The message that was truly intended is forever lost if the perception is wrong. Be careful of the words you use. You can't expect anyone to be able to read between the lines, or notice the tongue n your cheek if they can't see the twinkle in your eye. Your words are taken literally, and the tone is very important. I think more is read from the tone than the words at those times.

Posting a message in the emotion of the moment should be done carefully, because invariably, emotion means you are being yourself, and someone is going to misinterpret it. You may flare up and burn out immediately. You're over it, and in real life, face-to-face, it would pass quickly for all parties. Online it can't, because there is no way to satisfactorily explain what was meant.

Perception becomes reality.

Encouragement:

Encouragement is needed by everyone just to keep them going. It’s one of the most important elements of life. Without it, we shrivel up and die. In online communities, over time, we begin to take each other for granted. We are so busy with our projects we forget that others are busy too. We first forget to say ‘thank you’ now and then, and finally we forget to say it at all. Everyone needs some sort of recognition for their efforts. We need to know our time is appreciated. Just as our real life families need a friendly welcome and smile, so do our online friends. Being taken for granted wears thin real fast.

Members of good writing groups can’t wait to get home and log on. They love it. Why? You can guess why, I think. It’s friendly, welcoming and encouraging. It’s such a small thing to give, but oh, so very important. Don't deny it to anyone because of a perceived slight.

Real life affects us. It can’t help but put the humor in our writing that everyone loves, but remember, it also adds the anger, hurt and rudeness that we sometimes show in our posts and replies. Try not to take it personal when it happens to you. Holding grudges is not good for you. Forget it! Offer a word and a smile. If it isn’t accepted, move on, but don’t carry on.

Perception is stronger than reality.

Try to forget and forgive online offenses, they usually are not truly directed at you, but caused by an off-line incident. You just happened to be the first person encountered after the event.

Perception is not always reality.

Harriet is a Moderator and reviewer of new writers who has written many newsletters and articles on the subject of novice writing and reviewing with common sense and encouragement. Her portfolio can be found at http://www.Writing.Com/authors/storytime She is an author on a site for Writers ( http://www.Writing.Com/ )

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